Linstead One Shots

Need

This is a scene extension from 4.21. Let me know what you think and I hope you enjoy!

*on a break (4.17-current)*

"Which one of you killed him?"

"Ma'am I'm sorry." She was already feeling horrible, now she needed to tell a mother that she killed her barely-even-a-teenage-son. "You're son was armed and..."

"It was you. He was only fourteen. And you took him from me. You killed my child. What right do you have?" She cried, being dragged out of the morgue by Jay.

He knew she was taking this one rough. Shooting anyone is always difficult, but a kid. Any cop would take it badly. She was beating herself up about it, he could tell. He hated seeing her sad, especially if there was nothing that could be done about it.

She had to shoot him. It was either her or him that was walking out of there. He hates to say it, but she's glad it was Erin over the kid. He couldn't live without her no matter how hard he tried.

••••••••

She didn't want to go out, she wanted to stay home and be upset, maybe even cry. She had just taken the life away from a kid, and destroyed his mother with two pulls of an index finger.

But it was Jay's birthday and she had to at least show up. Show up, give the present, give a lame excuse, and she's out. Five minutes tops. Then she can go home and sulk for the rest of the night.

As she got out of the car with his present she put on the all-to-familiar fake smile and walked into Molly's.

"Lindsay!" yelled Adam from the bar.

"Hey," said Jay turning around.

"Yo," added Kevin.

"Hey. Just wanted to say happy birthday," she said handing him his gift.

"What? Woah."

"Jay."

"You didn't have to"

"That stuff's like two bills. Lucky guy," added Gabby from behind the bar.

"Yeah most days," Erin laughed.

"Gabby we know the policy about outside liquor, I'll be opening this at home."

"No way. You bring that into my bar, I get a poor."

"I love the way you think."

"That's my girl."

"Alright this is stuff you sip, don't chug. Okay?"

"Just take a little longer."

"Do you want some or not?"

"Yes."

"Alright."

All she could do was chuckle at them. These boys were actual children.

"I'm actually alright. I'm exhausted. I'm gonna head home, but happy birthday," she leaned in and kissed Jay's cheek. "See you guys!"

Finally. She was able to wipe the tiresome fake smile away and go home. That's when she heard footsteps behind her.

"Hey, Erin, wait up."

She turned around, unfortunately forgetting the smile.

"You okay?"

He knew she wasn't. He could read her like a book.

"He was only fourteen."

He could see it in her eyes. This one was really getting to her. He could see how upset she was with herself, even if she's not to blame.

He pulled her into a hug. She was hesitant at first but she finally gave in and sunk into the hug. She pulled away much faster than she would've liked, but she needed to go home. She needed to be away from people.

"I'll see you," she said walking out the door before Jay could say anything else.

He walked back to the bar, everyone had already drank their whiskey.

"She okay?" Asked Gabby.

"Not so much. She had to shoot a fourteen year old yesterday."

"Oh god, she's taking it hard?"

He nodded. Taking a sip from his glass.

••••••••

The rest of the night was fun, he had a couple more drinks with Adam and Kevin. Antonio and a couple of the guys from 51 showed up later on.

The only thing he could think about was Erin though. Which is ironic because it's his birthday, he could only think about her. He knew she was taking it hard and she shouldn't be alone. She might refuse him but she needed him.

When he left Molly's he headed for her apartment. He knew she probably wanted to be alone but he was going to be there for her. No matter what.

Once he reached her floor, he knocked. When she didn't answer he used his key. As he walked inside he found a dark living room, only one light on from the kitchen. He could just barely make out a figure sitting on the couch, staring into oblivion.

He quietly walked over and sat on the chair across from her.

"Jay?" She quickly swiped her hands under her eyes, wiping away tears. "What are you doing here?"

"You shouldn't be alone Erin. We of all people know bottling things up doesn't help."

"I don't need you. I'm just going to go to bed. You should go." She said as she stood up walking towards the bedroom.

"I'm not leaving. I'll sleep on the floor if I have to." He said making his way to join her.

"Jay, please just go. I'm fine I'm going to bed now."

She was practically begging him. She needed to cry but she didn't want him to see it.

"You're not fine Erin. I know you're not. Come on, just let me in. Let me help you."

"I don't want your help. I don't need your help. Now go."

"You can tell me you don't want to see me. You can tell me you don't want me. You can tell me you don't need me. You can tell me to leave. But I'm not leaving. I love you and I'm not leaving you alone!"

That's when she broke. The tears came out. She dropped her head into her hands, shielding her face from him. He pulled her into his chest, holding her shaking body.

"Hey, hey. It's going to be okay."

"No it's not." She said looking him in the eyes. "I killed a fourteen year old boy. I took the rest of his life away and destroyed his mother. How is it going to be alright?"

"Look, you had to do it. If you didn't shoot him he would've shot you. You might not be standing her right now."

He pulled her back into a hug. He crying died down. He guided her into the bedroom and they laid down together. He pulled her in tight to his chest.

"I'm glad you're still standing here. I don't know what I would've done if it were you laying in the morgue."

She snuggled in further to his chest. She wrapped her arms around the his that were hooked around her.

"I won't be going anywhere anytime soon. I love you too much."

They both smiled to themselves. They finally had each other back.