Hell on Heels

nightmares, more like memories

*Alexis POV*

I tossed and turned, trying to wake up, but my efforts were for naught. I stood in my room. No, not in Brooklyn, in Texas. My old home. Shut up it was never your home. I stared at the four year old Kiara, no she wasn't Kiara, she was Susan Shephard, who sat on her bed scribbling down in her school notebook The door opened and the four year old version of me crept in. I fought back tears as I watched her plonk down on her bed and hug herself. None of the girls took notice of me, standing in their room. The door was flung open and my mother walked in. She wore shorts, a tank top and her hair was tied in a high pony tail. Yes, she wore these kind of clothes before..Before.. I bit my lip to stop from screaming. Don't think about it. "Daddy was betting money and he didn't win" Mary-Lou Shephard spoke quietly and my mother sat on the foot of her bed. "Those men came to hurt daddy right?" Mary Lou wiped her wet eyes. "Who told you that?" My mother asked sharply. "Andrew and Jane were talking about it" "Mary, your brother and sister were just.. Um, Exaggerating, don't worry" My mother's voice cracked and there was a loud bang downstairs. I knew what was coming next. My mother told Mary Lou and Susan to stay in their room and then she hurried downstairs but my younger me, followed. I chased after them, despite knowing what was going to happen.

Mary Lou peeked from behind the wall into the living room and I joined her, watching the scene I dreaded most. There were three men in black, one holding a gun and the others restraining my struggling father. My older brother, Andrew was on the floor, dead, while my mother wept over his bloody body. I felt tears stream down my cheeks even though this was a nightmare. Memory. I watched as the light left sixteen year old Andrew's eyes. He was always there for me when I needed him. I loved him more than anyone in the world. He would care for me and caress my cheeks when I would sob from the bullying in school. And now, he was dead. "I'LL TELL THE POLICE!" My father cried and struggled against the two men. "Tell them what? That you were gambling and owed us a hella lot of money which you never gave and there were consequences? It's a pity your son had to pay for it, Shephard" The man who shot Andrew drawled and punched my father in the gut. I tried to run to my brother's body but it was no use, it was as if I was in quicksand. This wasn't just a nightmare that depended on what I did, this was a memory, I couldn't change it. "Come on Mary! You're not supposed to let those men see you. Remember what mummy said?" A girl's hushed voice said and I turned to see Mary Lou getting lead away and up the stairs by another girl with a slim body and long blonde hair like Kiara's. My older sister, Jane.

The scene shifted and I was standing in a lonely alley in Texas. NO, NO! I couldn't watch this, not again. I stood, gazing at fifteen year old Jane, picking up a five year old Mary Lou off the ground. "Karma will take care of those bullies, Mary" Jane said and held Mary Lou's hand and led her along. The sound of an engine was heard and an SUV pulled up in front of Jane and Mary Lou. Two men, one with grey hair and a well built body and the other was plump, buck toothed and had blonde hair. I tried screaming out, as a warning but they didn't hear anything. The fat one grabbed Jane and shoved her in the back while shouting at Mary Lou to scram. Then they started the engine and Mary Lou sneaked into the SUV and I quickly joined her. Why was I doing this to myself? The car started and drove on. Jane was chained and red eyed. "Get out of here Mary! Call 911" Jane whispered urgently but scared Mary Lou didn't budge. When the SUV stopped, Mary Lou quickly hid behind a box of alcohol bottles but I didn't bother. No one could see me anyway. The men opened the door and hauled Jane out. We were at a tiny hut and the men dragged Jane into it. Mary Lou scrambled out and peeked through the dusty window to see what was happening. My legs forced me to go too. We watched as the men bound the helpless Jane and stripped her clothes off. "CALL 911" I shrieked at the motionless Mary Lou but it was useless, she continued to watch. I sobbed and turned back to see the men stuff things into Jane's bare body and squeeze her as she strained against her binds. I couldn't take it anymore, I put my hands over my eyes like a little girl but an invisible force pulled them away and forced me to watch the things those men did to Jane. I wept as the men fucked her and pulled at her hair and beat her in places it would hurt the most. Finally when they were done hurting her, they took her out, without bothering to put her clothes back on and stuffed her in the SUV again as Mary Lou followed. The men didn't notice her and they drove back to the alley that they had found Jane and Mary Lou in and dumped her like a piece of used trash, before driving off. Mary Lou wept over Jane's bleeding and unconscious body. Everything became blurry.

I gasped awake and wiped my sweating brow. I sat on me bed in Brooklyn and forced my eyes to look in the mirror. My cheeks were tear stained and hair was bed- messy. I glared at my reflection as my heart beat resumed it's normal pace. It was all my fault. It was all my fault that had happened to Jane. If only I had gone and called help, Jane wouldn't be mentally sick. She wouldn't be in the stupid mental asylum. My mother wouldn't have become so strict and so containing. It was all my fault. I stared at my reflection again, Alexis Ren. But maybe I was still Mary Lou, somewhere, deep down. A scared and useless girl.

A/N

*wipes forehead*

Phew, that was intense. And long.

Sorry I took so long to post, Whitney and I were travelling so :/

Vote please. And stay tuned for the next chapter.

~Julie xx