DREAM ACADEMY (COMPLETED)

Chapter 33: UNEXPECTED SORRY

Changes. I know they say that's the only permanent thing in this world. But i've always thought that some people can be a constant in our lives. And i know they are called friends.

And i've always thought lovers break up, but friends don't.

It's been a week since joao and i broke up. It's been a week since ken and ford broke up. It's been a week since.. our friendship was divided..

Hindi ako sanay na tahimik ang groupchat namin. Hindi ako sanay na walang nagtetext o tumatawag minu-minuto. Hindi ako sanay na walang mga taong bigla bigla nalang papasok ng dressing room ko without even knocking. Hindi ako sanay na hindi magulo. Hindi ako sanay na tahimik.

The silence from all of us is too loud it's deafening.

I miss the noise. I miss the petty arguments. I miss tristan joking around. I miss ford talking about wow legs pinay. I miss niel nagging russell to piggy back ride him. I miss russell being goofy. I miss ken and sarah rolling their eyes on me because i'm too naive..

..and hard as i try to ignore it, i miss joao's presence.

Because it seems that we all turned into this busy mature humans who are so focused on our own thing.

Pero kailangan ko na masanay.

I blocked joao's number. I blocked him everywhere. In all my social media accounts. Iniiwasan ko din siya. I never saw him after he walked out of my dressing room.

If i want to be numb, i have to ignore the hurtful things.

Sa totoo lang, ang madalas kong kasama ngayon ay si sarah, russell at niel. Ken needs to heal herself and she said that she needed some alone time to think. To figure things out. We respect that. We just made her sure that we're still here for her if she needs us. I didn't know the real reason why they broke up. Si ford kasi parang umiiwas din saamin. Hindi ko pa din siya nakikita ulit after ng break up nila ni ken. Nagkakasama lang silang lima sa show and rehearsals. Ford is back to his mysterious self.

Sabi ni niel sobrang awkward daw nila sa group ngayon. Most especially, russell and joao. They're not in speaking terms. Nakaka guilty. I told russell that he needs to talk to joao. That i'm good with it pero sabi niya, it's his choice daw not to talk to him.

So basically, everything is not on their normal state. But.. maybe, this is our 'normal' from now on. Baka kailangan lang namin masanay.

Buti nalang talaga at malapit na yung dance concert ko. I busy myself with rehearsals. I make sure to make myself occupied. As much as possible, gusto ko pagod na pagod ako para pag uwi ko sa bahay diretso tulog na.

No time to overthink, no time to be depressed, no time for self pity.

Russell: "here, princess. With extra pinch of cinnamon!"

Inabot saakin ni russell yung coffee.

Me: "thanks, wuss wuss."

Umupo siya sa tabi ko. I'm in front of my laptop. I'm searching for a new hairstyle. I want to cut my hair short. Well, not totally short. Siguro mga shoulder length lang. I showed russell the picture na nagustuhan kong hairstyle.

Me: "what do you think? Bagay ko kaya 'to?"

Niliitan niya yung mga mata niya tapos kunwari nagisip pa.