I hope all of you are taking the news well. Please remember that it's not over forever and they're not going to completely disappear, even Avi. I love you all please stay strong.❤️
Avi sat awkwardly next to the group with sweaty palms. He didn't know what to do or how to explain how he felt. His knee bounced at a fast pace as his thoughts consumed them. I can't tell them. They won't understand. They don't need time away from everything like I do.
"Hey Av, you ready? We're on in five." Scott said walking up with Avi's mic. Avi smiled weakly, taking the mic after wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans. Scott tilted his head, noticing the bass's odd behavior. "Hey, you okay?" Scott asked gently and Avi looked up at him.
"Huh? Ye-yeah, I'm fine." Avi spoke, his voice shaking slightly, smiling the best fake smile he could manage. Scott saw right through it though and frowned before putting a hand on his shoulder comfortingly.
"It's okay to not be okay sometimes you know?" he spoke softly to avoid unwanted attention from the others. Avi gulped looking down already knowing that he couldn't hide it from Scott. "Hey," Scott whispered tilting his chin up and caressing his jawline with the tip of his thumb. "Everything is going to be okay. Okay? I promise."
Avi's breath hitched and his eyes started to water, as he stared up into Scott's eyes. He bit his lip it to keep it from quivering as he felt the overwhelming urge to cry. Scott immediately wrapped his arms around him protectively. "Shh, it's gonna be okay," Scott whispered gently in Avi's ear as he rubbed his back.
Avi allowed a few tears to fall as he clutched onto Scott's waist. "I'm sorry," he whispered so quietly that Scott almost couldn't hear him but he did and shook his head immediately. He pulled back and cupped Avi's cheek with one hand.
"Don't apologize. You've done nothing wrong. Let's just get through this show okay? And then we can go somewhere and talk if you're up to it." Avi nodded slowly, wiping his tears and looking down. "hey, " Scott whispered again tilting his chin up, "I love you no matter what it is okay?"
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As soon as they got off stage Scott pulled Avi to his dressing room, when he saw the tears forming in Avi's eyes again. He closed the door behind them and looked at Avi with concern. "Are you alright?" he asked and Avi went to speak when a very giggly Mitch and Kirstie walked into the room.
"God, that show was amazing! I'm fucking exhausted though." Mitch said before plopping on the couch. He looked over and saw Avi and Scott. "Judging by the look on your guys' faces, I'm guessing we interrupted something," Mitch said getting up and grabbing Kirstie's hand, "We'll leave you two alone..."
Avi shook his head and smiled at them, "No, no it's okay. We just finished. I'll see you guys tomorrow, I'm going straight to the hotel." Avi said quickly exiting the room before Scott could even think about stopping him.
Scott shook his head before going to the door to go after him. "Wait, Scott!" Mitch called him when he reached the door. Scott stopped and looked at him, "is everything okay?" he asked with concern.
Scott shrugged, "I don't think so. I'll be right back." he said before running down the hallway to get to Avi's dressing room. He knocked softly before opening the door. Avi was crouched down closing his suitcase. He looked up when he heard the door click shut and immediately looked back down when he saw that it was Scott.
"I'm fine, Scott." he tried to say without it sounding strained or fake. Scott shook his head crossing his arms looking down at the small bass.
"Will you come with me somewhere?" he asked catching Avi by surprise. Avi turned and looked at him confused. Scott smiled genuinely, "Please? You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." he said and Avi thought about it. Scott reached out his hand for Avi to take and he hesitated before taking it.
Scott led them through the building and out into the warm night. He led them to a nearby beach. Luckily the beach was empty and they had it to themselves. Scott pulled him out onto this dock and took him to the very edge of it.
"Okay we're here," Scott said before awkwardly dropping Avi's hand. They looked out onto the sun setting against the water. It was truly breathtaking. Avi wrapped his arms around himself as he looked at the beautiful scene in front of him.
"Beautiful isn't it?" Scott asked quietly after a few moments of silence. Avi smiled looking at it all nodding slightly. Avi looked at him with a peaceful smile on his face, "Thank you for taking me here. I already feel relaxed and better."
Scott smiled at him before awkwardly putting his sweaty hands in his front pockets, "Of course. I know that when you're stressed or upset you like to escape to the outdoors. And I know we can't always get to these kinds of places on tour." Avi nodded his smile faltering a little bit before he turned to the water again.
"What's wrong Avi?" Scott asked quietly, "You obviously don't have to talk to me about it I'm just... I hate it when your upset and it's eating away at me... I'm sorry, it's really none of my business, I-" Avi cut him off shaking his head.
"No, no it's okay..." Avi said looking down at his feet. "I just... I feel like nothing will stop." Scott looked at him patiently waiting for him to continue. Avi fidgetted with his fingers still not making eye contact.
"Everything just keeps going even if I fall down. I feel like I'm chasing something that I don't even want. I mean I do want it but everything keeps happening so fast and I just..." tears filled his eyes and he took a deep breath, "I just want everything to stop and wait for a second. Is that so hard to ask? Is it so bad that I just want everything to stop! Just for a second! I just need a break! I need to take a second and breath but I can't because we're going on tour and when that tour is over we have the next one and the next one... but when does it end? When do I get to just stop and fucking breath for just a second."
Scott looked at Avi, the both of them had tears running down their cheeks. Scott didn't know what to say. He knew exactly how Avi was feeling but it was nowhere near as bad as it was for him as it was for Avi. Avi cleared his throat and wiped his face with his hands, "I'm sorry I just-" he was cut off with the blonde's arms wrapping around him. Avi immediately relaxed into the touch and hugged him back tightly, burying his face into Scott's neck.
"I understand, Avi." he whispered kissing the top of Avi's head. Avi pulled away slightly but stayed in Scott's arms.
"I think I need a break Scott." he whispered, "I think I need a long break. I need to be with my family and my friends again. I need to be out in nature and I just need... I need a break." he said looking up into Scott's eyes.
They filled with tears but Scott smiled anyway, "I know." he whispered, scared that if he spoke any louder his voice would crack. Scott pulled Avi back to him and squeezed him tight. "I know," he whispered letting the tears run freely down his cheeks.
