quit-reset-try again {destiel}

the search party

Trigger warning

Dean opened the door with an apologetic and hopeful smile, praying that it was Cas at the door.

The first thing he saw was Nikki, Jo, Charlie, Garth, Kevin, Sam, and Benny all standing there, with glares that were enough to melt the sun. The next thing he saw was Sam's fist heading straight for his nose.

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Five minutes later, Dean sat on the old, leather couch, holding a pack of ice over his nose and listening to Sam's verbal onslaught. The younger Winchester finished his speech, looking at Dean expectantly, but before Dean could open his poisonous mouth, Nikki cut in, leaning closer to Dean.

"You better have a damn good explanation to why Cas is broken." She hissed, topaz eyes flashing with protectiveness.

Dean gulped, green eyes wide, slightly fearful of Cas' friends.

Kevin had completely shed his shy exterior, and there was an angry and worried genius in its place. Garth's gentle chocolate eyes were burning with concern and fury, and his normally smiling face was grim. Dean slowly lowered the freezing ice pack and met the group's white-hot gazes, which ranged from anger to concern to pity.

"I...I screwed up guys." Dean breathed, cursing as his gorgeous eyes for betraying him. He hastily wiped away the tears that had slipped past his forest eyes and down his freckled cheekbones. Embarrassment and shame-filled him, heating his cheeks and flushing them. He hated crying in front of people.

Sam sat down on the rumpled bedspread beside him and looked at his older brother expectantly. Dean recognized the look almost immediately.

It was the look Sammy used to give him when they were kids when Dad was away and they needed food, shelter, or, for god's sake, a hug, and someone to tell them it would all be okay. It was the look of "Dean will have an answer. He'll justify it, he'll explain it. It'll all be fine."

Dean choked back a sob.

Charlie and Jo stiffened at the muffled sound. Dean Winchester was not a crier. Moving to sit beside Dean as well, concerned for their friend, there hands subconsciously found each other and linked, seeking reassurance. Benny pulled up an old desk chair, sensing a long story.

Nikki's gaze softened as she realized that maybe, just maybe, there were two sides to this story and she gracefully sat down on the floor, crossing her sweatpant clad legs.

Garth and Kevin looked at each other, shrugged, and collapsed onto the floor. Dean looked around at all the faces listening, waiting with eager and open ears for an explanation as to why their friend was shattered.

Taking a deep breath, a desperate attempt to get enough air in his lungs to prevent a sob from escaping his pale, rose lips, he began.

"So we went to the party right?......."

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"I didn't realise how much I missed kissing him until our lips met. I was drunk, I was so drunk and yet still it just..... look, I'm not getting chick flicky but I missed kissing him"

"Brother wait. Did Cas not want to kiss you? Is that why he's like this?" Benny asked, confusion evident in his southern drawl. From what he saw, Cas seemed enamoured by his car-loving best friend.

"No. No, we both wanted it.....remember how you called out to me that the beer pong was set up?" Dean asked.

Benny nodded

"Well, I kinda sorta maybe promised that we'd talk about the kiss and then ran away. And then slept with Lisa." He rushed, all in one breath. Cries of outrage filled the room.

"And then this morning I.... Oh god, I screwed up so bad." Dean confessed.

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"And then he just looked at me. He didn't say anything, didn't yell or strike me. He just.....left. Just....quit. And I don't think we can reset it and try again this time. Not after what I've done." Dean finished. His confession hung in the stagnant air, only cut through by the entire groups stunned breaths.

"Alright. Well. You gone done screwed up really bad Winchester." Garth finally broke the silence, not one for calm. Standing up, he readjusted his trucker's cap and looked at the rest of the young men and woman expectantly.

Kevin slowly stood up, tucked the pencil behind his ear firmly and walked up to Dean. The fire in his usually peaceful coffee eyes frightened the meadow eyes boy.

"Fix it. You can, I know you can. And don't ask me how I know. I'm in advanced placement. So I know what I'm talking about. Go. Fix. It" Kevin hissed and then went to stand beside Garth, near the old door with the peeling paint.

And then Nikki stood up. The Tumblr dream girl Dean had first met was hidden under a layer of war goddesses like passion and beauty. She delicately picked her way through the seated people and crouched down until she was eye level with the sitting Winchester brothers.

Expecting a harsh and fully deserved slap around the face, Dean winced, freckles and cheekbones mixing.

Everyone held their breath as Nikki lifted her hand.

And everyone exhaled in relief when her pale hand dropped to lay onto of Dean's calloused upturned palm.

"Don't let him be gone." She whispered, and left Dean with a vital piece of paper, that was crumpled, and evidently a photocopy of something handwritten.

And with that, the three of them left the cramped dorm rooms for went off in search for the angel on earth, Castiel.

"Do...do you want us to go?" Jo asked, apprehensive of a silent Dean.

"Please." Dean breathed, the piece of paper burning in Dean's palm, stinging his curiosity and worrying him to no end.

Sam hung back and let Benny, Jo and Charlie wait in the spacious hallway for him.

"Hey Dean?"

"Yeah Sammy?"

"You realize... the first time you guys split up....it wasn't your fault. I never thanked you for what you gave up for me. Dean, you gave up love. I can never repay you, but please, just remember. You raised me. From the age of 7, you were raising me. So please please please don't think that this screw up is what represents you. I represent you and turned out pretty damn good. Don't lock your self away, don't bottle yourself up. I'm here, and I always will be. Anything for my big brother."

Sam's eyes shined with genuine love and he pulled his brother into a tight hug. Slowly, Dean raised his muscled arms and embraced his baby brother. Pulling away, Sam looked Dean dead in the eye and practically growled his next words.

"Go get him back."

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Yay for secondary characters that are alive. definitely alive. so alive. Keep fighting silver nuggets, thank you so much for reading!