quit-reset-try again {destiel}

the hiccup

a weekish later

Cas came back after a horrendous day and collapsed into the couch. Everything that could've gone wrong did.

He almost failed one of his midterms, was late to all of his classes, forgot his lunch, had a splitting headache all day and couldn't find his pills, was late for work, and then disrespected by every singles customer that walked through the door, calling out what they wanted before the door had even swung shut behind them.

To top it all off, it was a double shift, his partner had called in sick, and it was the typical lunch rush. And as if all this wasn't enough, Cas was running on 1 hour of sleep and hadn't seen Dean since last night.

Although it was a fun night. Cas smiled softly as he remembered the gasps of breaths and felt the bruises on his collarbone throb.

He had woken up to an empty bed, Dean's side cold as ice, but this wasn't unusual. Every Wednesday and Friday Dean had an early class, so Cas woke up alone.

Slowly standing up in an effort to not aggravate his headache, he stumbled to the bathroom in the dark and shot back two pills with a huge glass of water. After a few minutes, the headache began to fade till it was just a dull ache. He slowly stood up and went to the kitchen, grabbing the lunch he'd made for himself and wolfing it down.

"Dean?" Cas called out, feeling a little bit more human now.

No response.

"Dean? Dean, where are you?" Cas called again, making this way to the bedroom.

When he didn't see the amateur mechanic napping on the bed, his heart sped up, and his paranoid mind kicked into overdrive.

"Dean!" Dean, where the hell are you?!" Cas all but screamed, throwing himself down on the couch. He wrapped himself up into a tight little ball, trench coat folding in a strange way around him.

"Oh god not again, not again, oh god please, please, please not again." The delicate boy rocked back and forth, repeating his begs and prayers that Dean didn't leave. Not again. Dean couldn't have left again.

Cas became aware of a prickling sensation behind his celestial eyes, and his pretty pink lower lip trembling and then suddenly Cas was sobbing harder than he had in a while. His pale chest was heaving as he choked on tears and cries, he clasped a cold and trembling hand over his mouth to muffle the sound. He had no idea why he was crying, but he couldn't stop, couldn't shut himself up, dry himself off and continue with his day.

Confusion and anger mixed with sadness and frustration as emotions poured out of him like a salty waterfall flowing into an ocean. He sat, gasping for breath and his cries ripped away the little air he had in his lungs.

And then Dean walked in. He had a huge grin on his face and was carrying a side bag chock full of Christmas presents he'd gotten for Cas. But upon seeing Cas' tear-soaked face, and hearings the broken bawls, his grin dropped faster than a flightless bird

The side bag landed with a thud as Cas was wrapped up in Deans strong and warm arms almost immediately.

Soothing and comforting words filled Cas' delicate seashell ears as Dean murmured. This only made Cas cry harder. He franticly shook his sad little head and tried to push Dean away.

With a confused and hurt expression, Dean let go of the choking boy and looked at him, feeling puzzled and wounded. Cas tried to breathe, tried to get his wails under control but couldn't, so instead, he collapsed back into the freckled boy.

Now incredibly perplexed, Dean tentatively began rubbing Cas' cold back. He cautiously took Cas' freezing hand and intertwined his rough fingers with Cas' long ones.

A couple of minutes passed, the only sounds that could be heard from the dorm were heaving breaths, cut off sobs, and calm murmurs of comfort. Eventually, Cas' sobs subsided and he was able to breathe easier.

Another minute passed as Cas gathered himself and regained his typical ways.

"My apologies Dean." Cas whispered, looking down in an ashamed manner. Dean let out a yelp of indignation.

"Don't apologize Cas! Just....just tell me what the matter is." Dean squeezed Cas' hand tighter and Cas let out a frustrated cry.

"I don't know. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I just.. I just had a terrible day at school, and at work and when I got home and you weren't there, and it was just like last time, just like when I woke up and you weren't there, I was alone and I-I-I don't know!"

Dean ran his free hand through his sandy blonde hair and took a long deep breath. It was becoming clearer and clearer every day just exactly how terribly he'd screwed Cas up. He should've probably stayed away from the blue-eyed boy in the beginning. But better late then never right?

"Cas.. Cas maybe.... maybe we should stop seeing each other." Dean murmured, slowly untwining the linked hands, the words paining him.

Castiel frantically shook his head and grabbed Dean's burning hand back.

"No." Cas refused. Dean blinked in shock.

"What?"

"No. No. No. I know exactly what your thinking, you're thinking you're bad for me. You think your as poisonous as your eyes, but no. No, no you're not. I'm not letting you go. Not again."

Dean smiled slightly and squeezed Cas' hands. Words couldn't properly express how thankful he was that Cas had refused, so he simply pulled him into a tighter hug and pressed a kiss to his temple.

"I'm never going to leave you Cas. I was just buying Christmas presents. I'm sorry angel, I thought I told you." Dean apologized. He heard Cas sniffle and felt the messy-haired head nuzzle further into his chest.

"Want to watch a cheesy Christmas movie?" Dean asked. Cas tilted his head up and nodded, a large smile upon across his face.

"Can I make hot chocolate?" Cas asked, already getting up. Dean nodded and felt a warm and adoring smile spread across his face as he watched his angel begin grabbing the ingredients.

I'll tell him about the note later

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