Triggers
To say that it was perfect would be a lie. Of course, it wasn't perfect. Dean still woke up in the middle of the night, sweating and panicking, terrified out of his wits and rushing over to the phone to call Sam, to make sure he was okay. Once or twice he'd gotten a breathless Gabriel instead, which had resulted in a lot of shouting about the ruining of his baby brothers innocence.
On one such occasion, where Dean was yelling into the phone for longer than usual about how his baby brothers innocence was gone and other such things, Cas couldn't take it. When Dean had finally stopped yelling, he'd looked around the dark apartment, made grey but a few weak beams of 3 am silvery moonlight and panicked. He couldn't see Cas anywhere.
"Cas?" Dean called, still residual bits of anger dusting his tone. A small whimper came for the corner of the room. Rushing over, Dean saw the boy curled up small as he could make himself.
"You sounded like mum. She... she was always screaming at Gabriel and....." Cas let out a small shudder, "me".
Dean was confused. He'd met Cas' mother, quite a few times. she seemed like an extremely kind person if a bit distant.
"She....did what? I can't see your mother doing that." Dean whispered, sliding down beside Castiel. Ca let out a humourless chuckle.
But I... I did something so terrible. God." Cas murmured, tensing up.
Dean decided to press him.
"Cas. What the hell happened when we were apart?" He asked, rubbing his back softly.
Big mistake. Cas folded into himself and shook his head rapidly.
"I can't.. I can't tell you, not now, not ever. I can't."
"Cas," Dean murmured softly, standing up and gently pulling Cas up as well. Cas remained hunched and kept his arms crossed tightly to his toned chest.
" I can't. You'll leave me. I know you will, who wouldn't?"
"I won't leave you Cas, I promise. Please tell me."
"No."
"Cas." Dean pleaded.
"No."
"Cas, please." Dean didn't know why he was pressing this, but it seemed important.
"I can't Dean, I can't."
Dean took a deep breath and decided to air out all the dirty laundry.
"Cas, I respect that you don't want to tell me, I really do. And if you really really don't want to talk about it, that's fine, but my love, I know about your suicide attempt. I read the note."
Cas froze, fear gripping him like an
icy wind and squeezing his exhausted lungs.
"How the hell did you find out about that?" He finally asked, his voice shaking as if he was physically freezing.
"Don't be mad please, it was... it was after our huge argument here and-"
"It wasn't an argument." Cas cut him off.
YOU ARE READING
quit-reset-try again {destiel}
Fanfiction"have you tried turning it off and on again?" Cas and Dean. Dean and Cas. You would never see one without the other. The Winchester boys had lived next door to Novaks for as long as anyone in the sleepy little town could remember. Cas and Dean were...
