quit-reset-try again {destiel}

the explosion

Trigger warning

Dean woke up the next day with a killer headache, wicked hangover and a sick feeling in his gut. He couldn't tell yet if the sick feeling was because of the alcohol or because of the guilt.

Glancing at the clock, he groaned. It was one in the afternoon. A hand of panic gripped his heart before he realized it was a Saturday. No classes.

Standing up slowly, he walked into the kitchen, grabbed a glass of water and gulped it down.
Snatching some medicine from the cabinet, he swallowed them with another glass and slumped into the kitchen seat.

Cas walked into the kitchen, huge bags under his blue eyes as if he hadn't slept a wink the entire night. His midnight hair was messier than usual and he sat down opposite Dean, who blinked the sleep out of his eyes.

Cas handed him a fresh cup of coffee, long fingers wrapped around the mug that had curls of steam above it, giving the small kitchen the smell of home. Dean murmured a thank you and took the cup from Cas, gulping down the hot liquid and feeling the caffeine flow through his veins and under his freckled skin.

"Fun night?" Cas asked harshly. Dean's green eyes lit up and he smirked proudly.

"The night was great. This morning, not so much." Dean laughed, completely oblivious to Cas' harsh tone and hurt eyes.

Cas almost started crying, blue eyes stinging with fresh tears. God knows he's done enough crying last night, he didn't need more.

But in Cas' twisted mind, Dean meant the night, the part where he had abandoned Cas, slept with another girl right after Cas and him had kissed, and then stumbled in at 4:27 am, drunk of his arse, was great?

"Really?" Cas questioned, a puzzled expression on his porcelain face.

"Yeah man. I had sex with the hottest girl on campus, and got sooooo drunk I forgot about all of my worries." Dean laughed, grinning with his teeth.

Like me? Cas wondered.

"Oh. Well I was just a little peeved." Cas muttered, for once standing up for himself, for once facing his fears, and hoping against hope that it wouldn't blow up in his face.

"Why? You didn't get laid?" Dean chuckled, placing his empty coffee cup on the counter. The clink of china on marble echoed in the small kitchen and Cas winced at the sound

"No. Because you abandoned me at the first chance you got." Cas snapped, placing his almost full coffee cup onto the counter harshly, losing all of his patience. He was sick of Dean's attitude, sick of always being a lapdog, a sidekick. Sick of always being second best.

Dean couldn't honestly tell you why he reacted in the way he did. Maybe it was the hangover, maybe it was the pounding headache, the hunger in his stomach coupling with he nausea, maybe it was the stress of his upcoming finals, or maybe he was just a terrible person. No matter what it was, Dean regretted it more than he thought he could.

"Stop acting like a baby, I shouldn't have to hold your hand all the damn time." Dean retorted, in a biting tone that countered his perfect face.

Cas flared up, fire flowing through his veins and into his icy blue eyes.

"I am not a baby. It is not unnatural for someone who hates parties more than anything in the world to want a friend! And the fact that you promised you wouldn't ditch me doesn't help the matter." Cas tone was clipped and harsh.