dear diary » shawn mendes

4

Sunday, June 26th 2016, 8.23 pm, Pickering
Claire's pov

Shawn drives away with me behind him.
Soon he stops by my house. I get off his bike and run to get mine. I leave my pink heels on the staircase before I get my bike. After I get it, me and Shawn bike to the park.

Do you think I have my time now, Diary??
I think I'm ready to tell him..

The night starts to fall. The stars and the moon shine over the town we live in.

My long skirt flares in the wind as the hair that has fallen out of my little bun.
We just smile when we bike downhill and into the town center.

We leave our bikes next to a tree as we lay down in the grass.
My whole body is filled with happiness and I just laugh, just as Shawn.
A few minutes later it's quiet. Everything we hear is cars and each other's breathing.

"Why did Lauren leave?" I ask him as I look up at the cloudless sky.

"She didn't" he says. I get shocked and look at him with wide and questioning eyes.

"What? Why? Oh my god, I'm so confused" I say and shake my head.
"It didn't feel right, I just wanted to get away from everyone" he says.

"Oh, okay.." I say and look at him. He looks up at the sky emotionless. Nothing appears in his face, no emotions at all. Not sadness or joy.

"I'm really glad to be here with you" I say, without moving my gaze from him.
He slowly turns his face to me. He looks into my eyes and smiles bright.

"Me too" he says.

This is my moment, Diary...
I promise I won't let you down this time.

"Shawn.." I say and take a deep breath.

"Yeah?" he says and the smile slowly fades away.

"I..." I start and take another deep breath.

"I should go home" I say and stand up.

Damn it, Diary!! I was so close to say it.. I'm so sorry :((

"But..." he says and reaches out for my hand. He grabs my wrist and I look back at him questioning.

"I'm sorry Shawn" I say and my eyes water. He looks sadly at me, begging me to stay.
I go back to him and sit down next to him. Even if it hurts, so can't I let him think I don't like him.. I don't want to leave him.

"Thanks" he says and gives me a hug. I hum and tightened the hug.

"I don't want you to leave me" he says as pulls back and places his hand on my shoulders.

"I'll never leave you" I say and a tear fall over my cheek. In a few days, I'll be gone, I'll leave him.

I don't know what to do Diary, should I really leave him??

He wipes away my tear.

"You're the best friend I've ever had" he says. My heart aches. I nod and look down.

"Yeah" I say simply.

"I love you, bestie" he says. My heart aches again.

Diary, he said he loved me, like a friend...
'I love you bestie', bestie, that word, bestie..