Tuesday, July 12th 2016, 1.53 pm, Pickering
Shawn's pov
I walk over to Claire's house again, as I've done the last days. I told myself to forget about her because she has clearly forgot about me, but it's not easy.
I knock on their oak door and Matthew opens it as usual.
"Hey Shawn" he says and moves so I can go inside.
"Hey" I reply low and he closes the door behind me.
"So what do you wanna do today?" he asks as I just stand in the hall. We've played video games together the past days, since both of us haven't been in the mood of talking about anything else.
"Usual" I say and he nods. We go to his room he starts a 'Call of Duty' game and gives me one of the Xbox controllers.
"You wanna drink something?" he asks halfway through the game.
"What do you have?" I ask and he pauses the game.
"Coke, juice, water.. Yeah I don't know" he says and shrugs.
"Coke" I say and he nods.
He walks out his room and makes his way to the kitchen.
I stand up and somehow find my way upstairs. I see the door to Claire's room and slowly push it open.
Her room is cleaned and her bed is made with a lot of pillows on it, just like it always looks.
I stroke my hand over the blanket and sit down on the edge of the bed. I look to the headboard and see the white night table. I move closer to it and see a picture in a frame. I pick the frame up and it's a picture of me and Claire together.
**flashback**
"Shawn!" she chuckles and runs after me. She come running behind me and then jumps up on my back. I laugh and she wraps her arms around my neck and legs around my waist as I hold a tight grip of her legs.
"Smile!" her mother comes up with a camera in front of us. I stick out my tongue and after Claire's mother take the picture Claire slides down from my back.
"Catch me!" she laughs and runs down to the ocean and I run after her laughing.
**end of flashback**
A tear fall down onto the glass of the picture. I wipe it away from Claire's face. She's so beautiful and precious and I let her go.
"I miss her too" I hear Matthew saying. I hastily put away the picture and look up and see Matthew standing in the door opening. He sits down next to me and takes the picture in his hands.
"Yeah" I sigh and look down at my hands.
"What do you think?" he asks and I shrug.
"About what?" I ask him.
"That she left" he says and looks at her on the picture.
"I don't know.." I say quietly. "Everything is so empty. She's my best friend" I wipe away a tear. "Was, she was my best friend, but she hates me now" I add.
"Why would she hate you?" he asks.
"She didn't tell me anything, she never told me about it, or why, and she broke our promise. And now she's not calling or texting" I say and swallow.
"She will never hate you Shawn. She's going through difficult times" he says and hands me the picture.
"So she moved to Greece because she's in hard times, without telling me?" I ask and look at Claire on the picture. She was smiling so big. I miss her so much. "It's just, she's so much more than my bestie" I let out a sigh and stroke my thumb over her face.
"What?" he asks.
"I've always loved her. I've just been too scared and dumb to not really realize it. I thought that, if I told her about my feelings for her I would destroy our friendship, so I tried to catch feelings for everyone else but she has always been the first and only thing that pops up in my mind" I tell him.
"What's the worst thing that could've happened?" he asks.
"That she wouldn't feel the same.." I tell him without looking away from the photo.
"But why didn't you tell her? You don't know if she would say she liked you too or not" he clears his throat and looks to the door.
"I was scared Matt, like I said. I don't want to ruin our friendship. As long as I can be around her it's okay, but now, when she's not here, everything is so dark and empty.." I look up at him and he looks at me with hurt eyes.
"Don't you understand Shawn? Can't you see how she's looking at you? She loves you but thinks you hate her now!" he says.
**
this was a bit shorter but I haven't been writing so much and I don't wanna destroy this chapter since I'm pretty happy with how this went
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dear diary » shawn mendes
Fanfictionin which a girl falls in love with her best friend since childhood and escapes the country with her diary as she graduates high school, in hope she'll forget about him as he starts touring around the world. [picture - pinterest]
