dear diary » shawn mendes

7

Thursday, June 30th 2016, 7.14 pm, Pickering
Claire's pov

Tomorrow I'm leaving.
Me and my family have cleared the things up and they're probably not as angry as before. I haven't seen Shawn since graduation and I don't need to see him either.

I feel hungry and we don't have anything home so I take the car to the store. I buy all my favorite candies and chips.
Instead of driving home I drive to my bridge.
I sit down with my candy and look out over the lake.

"I'll miss you" I whisper.

"What?" someone says behind me. I get scared and hastily stand up. It is his sister, Aaliyah.

"Aaliyah?" I say and look confused at her. "What are you doing here?" I add.

"I use to go here when I want to be alone and things" she explains and smiles, that smile, it hurt. It looks like his. "What will you miss?" she asks.

"I-I'll miss this bridge, and the lake" I say and look out over the lake.

"Why, Claire?" she asks and looks confused at me as she tilts her head a little to the side.

"Because I'm moving" I explain and sit down. Her eyes widen.

"You're what!?" she shouts.

"I'm moving tomorrow" I tell her calmed.

"But, but you can't" she says and shake her head.

"Yes, I can. The tickets are already payed and I've got an apartment" I say without any facial expressions.

"Where are you moving?" she asks fast.

"Don't. Freak. Out." I said, spell the words out word by word and she shakes her head.

"Greece" I say and she totally wants to freak out but calms down.

"Wai-wai whaaaat?" she falter. I nod and force a smile on my lips, but my eyes show all the pain. "Why so far? And why are you sad, Claire?" she asks.

"Because.." I start and my eyes fill up with tears as my voice chokes. Tears slowly run down my cheeks. "I love your brother" I say quietly. 

"You love Shawn?" she asks and I nod as an answer. "Why don't you tell him?" she adds.

"Because we're best friends" I say looking down at my hands. "Everything is too late now, Aaliyah, everything is done and I'm leaving tomorrow morning" I add and look up at her. "Don't tell him anything" I add fast.

"But.." she starts but I interrupt her with my finger. I stand up and grab my stuff. I give her a hug.

"I'll maybe see you in a year then, Aaliyah" I say and walk towards my car.

"A year?!" she shouts and I nod.

"Take care Aaliyah, and take care of Shawn for me" I say and open the drivers door. She stands at the bridge and looks at me shocked.
I drive home and tears fall fast down over my face. As I park the car outside our house I reluctantly open the door and close it behind me. I stand on the street and look at Shawn's house. I see him walking out the door, then he sees me and smiles as he waves. Quickly I get my things and walk inside.
I slam the door behind me and get up to my room. I pack the last things and start a movie.

Am I starting to regret this, Diary? Is it the right thing for sure? What will I even do there?

Ava is calling.

"Hey" I say as I pick up.

"Hi girl, how is it?" she asks and I shake my head by myself.

"It's not that good to be honest" I tell her anxiously.

"Tell me" she says simply.

"I don't know if this is the right thing to do. Maybe I'm just scared that Shawn doesn't like me and that's why I'm running away? Maybe this is the wrong thing to do" I sigh and get annoyed.

"Sometimes, it can be good to get away from everything, have a new start. But you'll at least come back, and you can always come back whenever you want to. Your parents' house will always be open and if not, mine will be" she says, and I think that's exactly what I need.

"Thank you Ava.." I say quietly.

"Does Shawn know about this?" she asks.

"No, he doesn't and he doesn't have to know either" I say.

"But he's your best friend, just as me" she says. 

"Yes, but he's the reason I'm moving, so he doesn't have to know, he'll probably get to know from you, my parents or my brother, oh, definitely Aaliyah" I tell her.

"Aaliyah?" she asks confused.

"Yeah, I met her at my bridge and I told her because she heard me talking to myself, but it's too late so he can't change anything now" I simply say cold hearted.

"Haha, you're impossible.. I see that this argument won't come anywhere. But call me tomorrow when you're at the airport" she chuckles and I smile.

"Yeah, bye" I say and hang up.
I watch the movie and eat my snacks.
After an hour, half through the movie I go to the bathroom.  I wash my face, brush my teeth and put my hair into a French braid, then pack down my face care, toothbrush and toothpaste.
As I get back to my room I see my phone vibrate on my bed. I look at it and see Shawn's name. I decline and keep watching the movie. Two minutes later he calls again, I decline again. Another two minutes and he calls. I decline and turn off my phone. As the movie ends I go downstairs and tell my parents and brother goodnight.
I charge my computer and phone as I get down under my blanket. I turn on my phone again so I can hear the alarm for tomorrow.
*6 missed calls from Shawn* it says on the screen. I try to ignore it and listen a little bit to sound books and fall asleep to someone's voice.