Book 3 : Smooth Yet Dangerous Michael Jackson Fan Fic

Heart Ache

This hurts. I'm the one who wants it but it still hurts. I've shared my life with this man for over 10 years and to throw that all away is beyond painful but I can't keep doing this. When will my well being become a priority to him? Never. I have to worry about myself because I am a mess. I'm losing way to much weight, I look like a train wreck. Sadly I do still love Michael but he doesn't love me the way I love him & my heart cannot take it anymore.

"Grandma is here!" Harm shouted excited. "Fuck." I mumbled to myself knowing Michael told her and she's here to stop it. I walked down stairs to find the kids attacking her with hugs and Michael standing near her. He looked up at me and quickly looked away because he knows I know why she's here. I walked down and greeted her with a hug. "How are you babygirl?" She asked. "I am doing good." I smiled. "That's good. I'm hungry how about we go make lunch for everyone?" She asked me. "Of course." I smiled. She began to walk to the kitchen. I turned around and looked at Michael giving a angry look then followed.

We stood there getting lunch ready as she made small talk. "Your still losing weight sweetheart." She said concerned. "I know I know. I'm going to start gaining it back. I gotta start taking care of myself." I said. She sighed, "sweetheart listen, I know Michael being gone was hard but I don't think divorce is the answer." She said. I set my knife down, "him being gone has nothing to do with the divorce. His actions have caused this." I replied. "You two took vows. Through sickness & health." She said. "He broke our vows a long time ago." I replied. She shook her head, "I just wish you two would work it out. You guys have been together for 15 years. You've basically been married twice, have 3 kids together. Just gonna throw that away because a bad couple months?" She asked. "It's one thing after another with him Katherine. First it was the violence then he left me and now he's cheating on me. I emotionally and physical cannot keep doing it. Look what it's doing to me. I don't even know who I am anymore. I'm a train wreck!" I said. "I feel like there's more than your saying. You've lost yourself sweetie." She said. "It's always about Michael and his career while I stay at home with the kids. I love my kids but I want a life too. I'm 34 years old and have only have had 1 serious job. How am I suppose support myself. I'm gonna have to rely on Michael to get a little house and everything. How sad is that? It pretty damn sad." I said upset. "He likes taking care of you." She commented. "I dont. Just for this reason. He treats me like shit & I can't even afford to live on my own. I feel like a prisoner." I said. "I just wish there was something I could do." She said. "You can't always fix our problems Katherine. I love you but I'm done. If you'd see and hear the things he's done and said to me you'd understand." I replied. She nodded. Then Michael walks in. Great I'm getting ganged up on.

"Babe we can fix this." He said desperately. I rolled my eyes. "No. I'm done being your rag doll. I'm going to make something of myself instead of just being some dirty little secret to you." I said. "What is that suppose to even mean?" He asked confused. "Our family is nothing but a dirty little secret to you. No one knows about us so you just go out there acting like we don't exist till you get bored and decide you want to be a dad and a husband." I said hatefully. "If this is how you felt why didn't you ever tell me?" He asked. "Oh my fucking god Michael! I did! I tried and tried but you refused to listen. From the beginning of you telling me you were going on tour I tried! But you were too worried about your side whore Michael, and I hope she was worth it." I spat. "How many time do I have to tell you I am not sleeping with her?! You literally made this up in your head!" He shouted. "I made it up in my head? No. You flirting with her right in front of me was enough proof, you choosing to have dinner with her while me and your children were waiting for you to come and have to dinner with us was enough proof. The whole trip to Moscow was enough proof! You treated her like your wife and then plus when you told me that Lisa was a better match for you than me. I'm not dumb Michael I was maybe naive enough to marry you again but I see it all to Clearly now and I'm done so stop wasting your time trying to fix this because it's too late!" I hollered.  He shook his head, "I'm not signing those divorce papers." He said. "You dont sign the papers then I'm running with us not signing a prenup. Don't make this divorce ugly." I told him. "Take my money. I don't care. I'm not signing them." He said. I groaned. "Whatever we'll be separated anyways." I said walking out.
MICHAELS POV
"Michael. You need to sign those paper." My mom said softly. "What?! No!" I hollered. "Just give her what she wants or she's gonna hate you more, you've put her through enough. She's lost herself." She said. "I don't care. I don't want this mom. I love her." I said pacing the kitchen. "Don't make this divorce ugly. She's made up her mind. Whether you want it or not she's filing for divorce." She said. I shook my head as the tears started to pour. "I have to fix this." I said choked up. "Maybe the way to fix this is to let her have her way. Whatever is meant to be will be." She said rubbing my back. I rubbed my face frustrated. "How could I be so clueless? I feel so blind, I didn't know she felt that way." I said. "Michael maybe it's time to slow down on your career. Look what it's done to your family? Look what it's done to you and Amber from the beginning." She said. I nodded. "You're right." I replied. "I'll finish lunch. Go relax." She said. I walked up to what I guess is my room now. I paced my room trying to figure out what's the right thing to do. "Fuck!" I yelled then punching a whole in the wall. I punch the wall repeatedly getting my frustration out. "What the fuck are you doing?!" Amber hollered coming in the room.  My anger just took over me, "Don't worry about what I'm doing, I'm not your fucking husband anymore!" I yelled at her. "Doesn't mean you can fuck up the house!" She yelled. "Its my house, I'll do whatever I want and you don't tell me what the fuck to do. Get out!" I yelled at her pushing her out of my room. "Stop Michael!" She hollered. I pushed her out then shut my door locking it. I cannot handle this. I looked around the room seeing her stuff, I grabbed a box and threw all her shit in there. She wants a fucking divorce, then she can have a fucking divorce. I tossed the box of her shit out in the hall. I walked down stairs and took one of the cars out for a drive.