Broken // Lams SoulMate AU

~10~

I just wanted a reason to write about Dear Evan Hansen.

Also I know I said I ship Philidosia but I'm Pheacker trash now. And hey, if people can ship Burr and Alex, I CAN SHIP THIS!

Also someone spent an hour on the new cover :3

I knocked on the Washingtons door. I remember Lin living here, so Alex has to be here. It's not like I WANT to see them anyway. They both broke my heart, yet I'm still crawling back like a lost puppy.

My red string caught around my shoe. As I stepped, I went flying forward until I was caught in the arms of a boy. I looked up to see those same disgusting red eyes. He didn't have the red string connected to his timer, it was proof that he didn't have anything to do with me.

"Lin."

"Jonathan."

John - Is Alex here?
Lin - Wow, you come into my house and all you care about is my brother?
John - No, I actually don't want him to be here.
Lin - What?
John - Lin.....

"I need a favor."

----------

I had crawled out of the house when I realized that I wasn't going to sleep anytime soon. I met up with my friends JD, Ram, Kurt, and Evan at some close by bar. I've known them since elementary school and they all seem to be like my three emotions or devils sitting on my shoulder.

JD was like my destructive, angry, and obsessed emotion. He almost blew up a school once, he almost killed a few people, he almost killed himself. But no matter what he does, it seems like he's never able to get away from what he's doing.

Kurt and Ram was like my crazy, sad, and scared emotion. They are both confused and scared about their sexualities, even though they never want to admit it. They always talk about how their balls are blue and they want some love. Although, I think they already give love to each other, or atleast think about it. I think you can pick up why the two are crazy, especially when they're drunk. Note to self: don't tell them what you did earlier.

Evan was like my happy, determined, inspirational emotion. He's had a lot of bad things happen to him, yet he never gives up. That's what makes him such an inspiration and good person to be around. He always seems to have a smile on his face, even when he's broken inside. He's the thing that brings the good out in all four of us.

Ram - Hey asshole! My friends want a few slushies, K!
Connor - Are you serious? This  is bar we don't-
JD - *pulls out gun*
Connor - I'LL GO TO THE GAS STATION ACROSS THE STREET!!

The man huffed and threw up his hood over his long brown hair. He threw open the door, causing it to slam in Evans face as he was walking in. Evan seemed to step back and open his mouth, like he was going to say something, but nothing came out. He simply blushed and slowly walked back to us.

Kurt - You were blushing pretty hard back there man.
Evan - N-NO I WASN'T!!
Kurt - Whoa whoa, dude. It's okay to be gay ya know. I mean, I'm g....greatly supportive if you are! Hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa
Ram - Way to be awkward.
Kurt - SHUT UP!!!
JD - If anyone needs to shut up its you assholes! The reason we came here is to help Alex and you're not even paying attention to him!

All attention turned on me. I didn't know where to start. There was John, then Lin, then John, John, someone else, did I mention John?! I decided to start from the beginning. I told them about meeting that beautiful freckled face at the grocery store. And about John pushing me away. And about backstories and what Lin had done to him. I explained how John finally excepted me into his life, but then I just hurt him again. And finally, I ended by pointing at the bright red strand on my wrist.

All four of their mouths were wide open. None of them knew what to say. We sat there for a while. Just not saying anything. We just put together the story and tried to understand everything that had happened in my shitty life. Kurt, JD, and Ram said that they had better go. When they left, it was just me and Evan in a silent bar.

Suddenly, a face popped up from behind the bar. I screamed and I was about to fall backwards before Evan grabbed me. I saw the man from earlier with three slushies in his hands. He handed me one, handed one to a red faced Evan, and popped the other in his mouth.

Connor - That's a pretty sad story buddy.
Alex - YOU HEARD EVERYTHING?!
Connor - Yep!

Holy shit I just realised that the main characters from my favourite book series are named Alex and Connor.

Connor - You wanna know what you should do?
Alex - I don't know if I should be taking advice from you.
Connor - Some people just don't want to fall in love with their soulmate just because they're soulmates. They just want to fall in love by themselves. If John is avoiding YOU, the make him think that it's not YOU.
Alex - I'm sorry, what?!
Connor - Give him notes in his locker telling him how amazing he is everyday. But don't tell him who you are. Make him play the game and fall in love with you on his own.
Alex - T-that's an amazing idea!!!
Connor - What can I say? I'm just a genius!
Evan - Mmmmhhhhhmmmmm

I left the bar with a skip in my step. I left behind a distressed mind and two boys who wouldn't stop staring at each other. I ran out into the night with my dark hair flowing behind me. I climbed back into my window and plopped into my room.

I tore my covers off my bed and fell back when I saw what was resting in it. My brother sat there with his hands wrapped around MY soulmate. I felt a small tear fall down my cheek. Did John hate me now? Did he decided that Lin was better than me?! This was MY bed, MY room, I can do what I want!

I untangled Lins arms and legs from John and threw him on the floor. Lin opened his eyes from the sudden force. He rubbed his head and threw me an evil smirk. I kicked him in the shin and chased him back into his room. I locked the door and threw myself against it. I threw myself to the ground and put my head in my hands. Why can't I just have a normal family.

I need to talk to George and Martha. They were my adopted parents who took Lin and I in after my parents were killed in the big hurricane that swept through here many years ago. They are supportive and don't hate me for having an interest in guys more than girls.

I looked back up and saw John shifting around in my bed. He wasn't used to the lack of a snuggle buddy. I walked over to him and pulled his curly hair out of his face. He was sleeping softly with a little snore and every once in a while. Oh, what would I give to wake up next to that face every day. The universe, that's what.

"Someday, I'm going to kiss every single god damn freckle on your adorable face."

----------

I stared at myself through the mirror. I saw this in my sisters closet, and I thought it would be funny to prank her and mess up her clothes and embarrass her. But, now that I was looking at myself in the mirror. I liked the way I looked. Was this natural? No, boys weren't supposed to wear dresses.

I can't let anyone know.

It's just my little secret.

"L-Lafayette?!"