Broken // Lams SoulMate AU

~16~

It's only the first day of summer and I've already been to my crushes house twice

Also I'm putting up a Dear Evan Hansen (Yes it will be Tree Bros/ Connor x Evan) story soon (and my Heathers one) while I'm putting Voltron on hold.

Dear Evan Hansen, we've been way to out of touch
Dear Theodosia, what to say to you
Dear Diary, I believe I'm a good person

Dear Alexander, my life sucks (like usual)

It was another boring day of school. Rolling my eyes at Jefferson, seeing all of the ladies helpless over me, and ignoring whatever the hell Burr, Charles, and Sam are doing. People would make fun of me and John every day for having the red string on our wrists. I knew that he had been through to much in his life. He's been told the same terrible things over and over again that he believes them.

I just want to protect him. He's precious. But he's also color blind, has six toes on each foot, has one arm, and has a bright red string hanging from his wrist showing that he's been through horrible things with me. He doesn't deserve any of this, but I just feel like the more I try to love him, the more I hurt him.

I am walking in the quiet street, talking by myself, and walking by myself. The soft and warm wind blows my hair into my face. I'm carrying my heavy as hell backpack on my shoulders. I have just gotten back from piano practice with Lafayette and Hercules. I think that we're really getting somewhere with helpless.

But I just feel like John knows I'm hiding something from him. Every time I leave to go, I can see the lonely and afraid look on his face. I know I'm doing this for him, and I have to keep telling myself that. Not only am I hiding that, I'm hiding who I really was. Who I was born as.

Sadly, he wasn't at school today. Thomas probably got his weird person germs on John. Atleast he can't spread his ugly. John will always be the prettiest boy in the world, and Thomas will always be an ugly potato sack mailman shit head. Don't ask me where I got mailman from.

I know that John is gay as fuck. He'll definitely leave me if he finds out. I'm surprised he hasn't been left me yet.

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I sighed as I looked at what I had written down. I had already gotten an assignment to write a three page essay for next week. But I had already written a twenty page essay and I finished it earlier.

So in the mean time, I like to just write down my feelings and what's going on in my life. I like to look on all that going on in my life and try to solve it. Or I just keep it there so I can see how shitty my life was later in life.

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I sat in my old car and drove away. Drove away from my parents, my enemies, and my stupid ass boyfriend. I had called my aunt and she said that I could stay with her in Wisconsin until I got back on my feet again.

I was born in Wisconsin, into the my loving family. My family had always excepted what I wanted and what I did and who I was. I couldn't thank them enough for that. But then, my dad started to get drunk. Really drunk. He would hit my mom and would scream at her. I could tell that she would always be terrified of him, but I never had the guts to help her.

She told me that she would be back someday to get me out of the hell that I was in. But she lied. My mother who I loved so much and lied to me and left me in this horrible place with my horrible dad.

I had gone into depression, cut myself, wished that I was never fucking alive. When I saw Thomas, I was star struck to say the least. But he hurt me, just like my dad and mom did. I just needed a place to clear my head and I needed to go a place where people couldn't hurt me anymore or tell me what to do.

I'll see you Madison, Wisconsin.
Because James Madison's coming home.

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I laid on my couch with my laptop in hand. I knew that I should be writing an essay for Mr. Washingtons class, but it's always like me to procrastinate on assignments.what can I say, I fucking hate school.

I scrolled through my YouTube recommended when my phone buzzed next to me. I picked it up to see that Hercules was calling me. I smiled at seeing the name of my beloved. I fixed my purple skirt and answered.

Hercules - La-Lafayette?
Lafayette - Yes? Is something wrong? You sound upset?
Hercules - Can I please come over?
Lafayette - No need to ask! Come come!

I was worried about Hercules, he sounded pretty upset. If someone hurt them then I am going to introduce their ugly ass face to my fist. After a few minutes, I got a knock on my door. I threw my laptop to the side and unlocked the door. I came to face a teary eyed and red faced Hercules Mulligan standing there, helpless.

I grabbed his wrist and pulled him inside to sit down next to me. I held his hand and used my other hand to grab his cheek. I pulled his face towards me so that I could see into those beautiful eyes that he's truly very lucky to have.

Lafayette - Baby? What's wrong?
Hercules - M-my g-g
Lafayette - Cmon baby you can do it.
Hercules - MY GOLDFISH DIED!!!

Hercules slammed his face into my stomach and cried his eyes out. I sighed and rubbed his back and comforted him with soft words. You wouldn't expect someone like him to have loved his little goldfish so much. And trust me,

He loved that god damn goldfish

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I opened the door and I smiled when all of my small siblings came up to hug my waist. I patted their heads and walked through them to get to the kitchen. I set my backpack down on the table and waved to my parents before I ran up the stairs to check on John.

I smiled when I saw him all tucked up tight in my bed. He had Phillip in a small blanket next to him. Phillip was sound asleep while John was relaxed and watching TV. I sat down next to my boyfriend and kissed his forehead. He giggled and nustled his head into my shoulder. Could this boy get anymore adorable? Probably, there's always another way for him to be even more hot.

I walked over to the sleeping baby. I swayed him in my arms making him yawn and open his small eyes. Phillip looked up at me and giggled. He grabbed my hair and let it run through his fingers. This kid had Johns exact freckles and beautiful eyes. There's no way they're not related.

John - Were Thomas and James being dickheads again?
Alex - James wasn't here today, don't know why though. Thomas is being a huge crybaby about not being able to find him or something.
John - Isn't he always a huge crybaby?
Alex - True baby.

I slid into my bed next to John. I grabbed his face and gave him a soft and gentle peck on the lips.

John - Alex! You're gonna get sick!
Alex - It's worth it baby girl.
John - That's my thing.

Let's just say the next day I was tucked in bed with a sore throat,
with my boyfriend right beside me.