Puro luha ang nasa mata ko, I can still remember everything he said when he broke it off before my entrance exam. Tandang-tanda ko, lahat. Yung mukha nya, kung paano sya umiyak sa harapan ko. It was all so vivid, and every time I would reminisce it would physically hurt my heart.
"Aviana. Hindi ko alam kung paano ito sisimulan, marunong ka namang mag tagalog di ba? Maiintindihan mo ako kung tagalog ko to' sasabihin" he smiled, talagang nakakapag-joke pa sya huh. and continued, "Well. I want you to know na mahal kita, mahal na mahal. Pero hindi na tayo nagwowork, Oo alam ko. Wala akong karapatang sabihin ito, dahil sa loob ng ilang taong relasyon natin ay ikaw lagi ang nag-aayos, mas nag eeffort. Kaya nga ayaw na kitang mahirapan pa. Kaya we need to end this now." Bago pa sya makapag salita ay sumabat na agad ako "Is there someone new? What did I do? Ian please. I'll do anything, tell me. I can fix this, I can fix us." Pag mamakaawa ko sa kanya.
He looked down and played with his fingers "There's already a lot of damaged, we're too broken now. We can no longer fix this, fix us. But don't get me wrong, you were the perfect girlfriend..once the perfect girlfriend. Aviana, kailangan mong intindihin lahat ng sinasabi ko. Ayaw ko na." He slowly lifted his head up and looked at me "Ian, just tell me why you had to do this to me" ngunit tinignan nya lang ako, iyak ako ng iyak. Parang hindi ko na kayang mag exam ng panahong yon
"Av, it's not you, ako yung may problema, ako yung may pag kukulang. You don't deserve me that's why I'm letting you go"
Yan ang huling sinabi nya, huling sinabi nya bago sya umalis, bago sya lumakad palayo sa akin, hindi ako makasigaw, hindi ako makatakbo para habulin sya. I was just there, standing there I was about to collapse, my lungs were not getting enough air. Umiyak lang ako ng umiyak, habang nakatayo dun kung saan nya ko iniwan.
I went inside the university's toilet, I decided to cry inside the cubicles instead. My heart was hurting bad, my head was swirling, my vision was impaired, my stomach was crippling. Before I know it, I was already inside the ambulance. I was already being rushed to the hospital, hysterical screaming from voices I can recognise
"Aviana! Aviana! Wake up please!!"
"Stay with us, Aviana!!!"
"Av. Please fight! Aviana."
And that was it, I woke up with people around me. What happened? Was it just a dream? Where's Ian? Was it just a nightmare? Sana naman dahil hindi ko kakayanin kung mawawala sya sa akin. Hindi ko talaga kaya, ikakamatay ko.
"Where's Ian? Cara?" I was shooting for the moon with that question, she closed her eyes and tears ran down her cheeks "H-h-he's not here. You guys broke up, remember?" She rushed to me and hugged me "N....o...." I cried and pushed Cara away, I tried to removed the dextrose but they stopped me.
Bakit hindi na lang ako nawala? O kaya naman ay sana hindi nalang ako nagising, kung ganito rin naman kaka-gisingan ko, gumising ng wala sya sa tabi ko, ang gumising sa realidad na iniwan nya na ako.
YOU ARE READING
Chance to fall or walk
Teen FictionCan Aviana still recover from the pain she has endured for the past years, can the past still destroy her, or will she find the will to walk away from the things that can kill her and walk towards that things and people that won't.
