Chance to fall or walk

Chapter 35

I decided to go back to the locker room after an hour of relaxing. I felt relaxed and calmed, thank God.

While getting my things, I heard a stumble from the other side of the lockers.
I ignored it and continued gathering my things. Another raucous disturbed the silence in the locker room.

Tinignan ko kung anong nangyayari sa kabila, nakita kong si Ian nakahilig sa locker at nag dudugo ang kamay. The first thing in my mind was to go to him and ask what's wrong, ngumit may pumigil sa akin. Tingnan ko lang sya, hindi pa rin sya lumilingon sa akin. I gave him a fake cough so that he would look at me.

"Aviana?" his eyes slowly darted into mine.

"Anong nangyari?"

"Bakit nag dudugo ang kamay mo?"

My questions flooded him.

He shook his head and gave me a half smile, hindi ko alam kung inaasar nya ba ako o'ano. I was still standing meters away from him, not moving.

"It doesn't matter" he whispered

Tumango ako at umakbang lalayo, pero biglang may kalabog pagkatalikod ko, agad akong lumingon at nakitang mas nagdudugo ang kamay ni Ian. I had no choice, I had to go closer to him, He's obviously frustrated at something.

"Tumayo ka Ian. Bakit mo ba sinusuntok yan? Para kang tanga." Utas ko sa kanya, sabay hila sa kanya patayo. Pumiglas sya at inalis nya ang kamay ko sa braso nya, tinignan ko syang mabuti at binalik ang hawak sa kanya.

"Wag ka ng maarte, Ian. Hayaan mo na akong tulungan ka, pwede ba?" my hand gripped into his arms even tighter, he gave me a confused look and slowly removed my hand again. He walked away, as he entered the shower, I heard him mutter some swear words.

I decided to go since I can no longer follow him nor ask if he's fine. Him and his pride. He still hasn't changed, still the same egoistic boy, I've known and loved.

Funny how I thought that nothing in this world is permanent, I guess some things will remain the same even if years pass by. Specially if the change won't come from the person and most especially when the change is not sincere.

Humiga ako sa aking kama at wala akong ginawa kundi maalala ang mga nanyari noong umaga, hindi maalis sa isipan ko ang dumudugong kamay ni Ian, hindi maalis sa isip ko ang mga mata nyang puno ng hinagpis at pagsisisi. Pero what can I do, he can be sorry for this lifetime but it'll never bring back the same feelings we both once had. It will never be the same, everything we had is destroyed and thrown into the wind where no one can see nor grab the remaining pieces to touch.

I woke up feeling a lot better, I took a shower and went straight to work without having any breakfast, funny how I didn't feel hungry today. Probably because I was thinking about my last presentation for the project Levi gave me. After weeks of preparing and revising the plans, it's nearly done. I parked my car immediately and went straight to my office. 

Pabulong ako nag eensayo ng mga sasabihin ko mamaya para sa presentation ko nang biglang may pumasok sa aking opisina, nakita kong si Tristan ito, with some packed breakfast I'm assuming. He gave me a sweet smile and showed me the paper bag. I raised my eyebrow and gave him a grin "Good morning, bakit ka napadaan?" tanong ko habang kumukuha na ng croissant sa bigay nya. The sweet smell of coffee was lingering in my nose, thank God for Tristan. I can't present with an empty stomach, though I wasn't feeling hungry but still I have to eat. 

"Nothing. yaya told me that you left early without any breakfast, so.." he muttered

"Hindi ka ganito dati huh? bait mo ngayon ah. Wala akong pera, Tristan!" asar ko sa kanya habang kumakain ng tinapay. Tumawa lang sya at uminom na din ng kape. 

"Um..I saw and spoke to Ian yesterday......." I said in a hushed tone with my head a bit down, he gave me a confused and pissed off look, it took him quite a while to respond to me.

"Oh tapos? Okay naba kayo?" he asked as if he really did give a damn about it. I knew he was mocking me however I like the fact that he still asked me.