S.O.S

Chapter 19

Do you know that feeling? That feeling when you finished a good book and you just wonder what you're going to do next.

It's not in your hands anymore, to turn the paper to read further form the open ending. Or no extra chapter to continue the happy ending you've been dreading for since the beginning.

You just sit there, with your book in your hand. Thinking about what would happen next in their lives. Wondering what you're going to do with your life next.

You're in this state of mind where you wander between two worlds, you want to stay in the other but there's nothing there anymore. There's nothing you can hold onto as the other world, most of the time the real world, pulls you back.

That's how Lauren felt as she woke up, the day after Camila was taken from her.

And just as cruel as the real world can be, it was slammed right in front of her face. She didn't even have the chance to get a strong cup of coffee, she had immediately gotten confronted with her loss when she got downstairs.

There it was, a lady in her thirties full of Botox telling the whole world how magically a missing person escaped her abuser. Telling the whole world about Camila, just as if she knew one thing about her.

"I'm gonna be sick." Lauren muttered, disappearing in the kitchen. She didn't want to face it. It was just when you watch a tv show, like a really good one. And there's this character that is absolutely your favorite, and all of the sudden she or he dies.

Watching the rest of the show just doesn't feel the same, every time you watch it you think about the dead character. Every time you see something that reminds you of her, or when someone talks about it it hurts a little. But with a tv show you have a choice. You can simply pause it, and choose to watch something else.

But in life you don't have that shift. You can't shut off the pain, the hurting, the loving. You can't shut off all the memories.

It doesn't matter if you throw away everything that reminds you of her. In the end, nothing really matters. There could be a bold room, absolutely nothing in it. Still your mind will search and try to come up with something that does remind you of her, and it will succeed. Because you want to give your brain a reason to think about her.

And that's what she did. Every day she would think about her for the passing years.
Every day she watched the moon, imaging that Camila was watching it too.

She didn't know that in a few years, Camila would tell her that she watched it every evening. Thinking about her too. Just as they had talked about.