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After the funeral, Sam drove me home and insisted that he should stay the night. I wasn't in the mood to argue, so I locked myself in my mom's room and cried.
For hours.
The tears didn't stop.
It took me a little while to compose myself, but I finally went back downstairs and sat next to Sam on the couch.
"I'd ask if you were okay, but you're obviously not." he sighs, pulling me into him.
I snuggled into his chest and breathed in his scent. It was oddly comforting. We sat in silence for a few moments, until I spoke up.
"I don't think I'll ever be okay again," I admit. My voice was weak.
"I'm sorry," he whispers. "I know you're tired of hearing that today, but I really am sorry."
"I just wish it could have happened differently," I tell him. "I mean, I just wish there was something to blame."
"What do you mean?" he frowns, looking down at me.
"I wish there was something I could hunt," Iexplain. "Something that could pay for what happened."
"Casey," Sam sighs. "Don't go down this road, please."
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"I don't want you to become obsessed with the idea of revenge, or whatever it is you're thinking of," he says, his tone harshening. "It won't do anyone any good."
"It would make me feel better!" I argue.
"No it won't!" he shouts. "It'll drive you insane and ruin any chance of anything good ever happening!"
My eyes widen at his sudden outburst. I sit up and look at him. He opens his mouth to speak again, but I cut him off.
"Where's this coming from?" I ask, my voice soft.
"I'm sorry," he sighs. "I didn't mean to snap at you-"
"No, it's okay." I tell him. "Sometimes I forget that you have stuff going on, too."
"It's just-" he pauses. "Watching you lose your mom is bringing back a lot of stuff from my past."
"Like what?" I ask, hoping I wasn't over-stepping my boundaries.
Sam didn't talk about his feelings very often, so this was new for both of us.
"After my mom died, my dad went a little crazy." he explains. "He spent all of his time hunting the thing that killed her. It ended up killing him, too."
"I'm sorry," I say, leaning my head on his shoulder. "It must have been rough growing up like that."
"Yeah, you could say that." he sighs. "You know what I just realized?"
