false hope; joshler [✔]

june 13th

i finally visited you.
ever since you've been in your coma i've been scared.
i tried avoiding you.
i'm sorry.
i couldn't get myself out of bed to go and see you.
i was too sad.
too disappointed in myself.
but, i knew i couldn't stay like this.
i knew i had to see you.
i'm glad i did too.
i missed your face.
when i walked in your hospital room i almost broke into tears immediately.
you looked so vulnerable.
i held onto your hand and sat by you the whole time i was visiting you.
i hope you don't mind.
i know that i'm straight and you're gay but no homo, okay?
love, joshua.