Jily Oneshots

Insult War

James's POV

"I just can't believe you forgot my birthday." I said, highly annoyed. Lily and I had been dating for about 8 months now, and today was the day. The day I turned 17. I had a whole big date planned, just for me. Yes, I did plan a birthday date for myself. But it appeared that Lily Evans, the girl who NEVER forgets anything, forgot my birthday. I'm not going to lie, that hurt.

"Well, maybe if you would let me study, lazy Jamesie, then I could have time to remember, and get you something!" Lily said angrily, beginning to walk away.

"Oh so now it's my fault?" I call, striding after her, my long legs quickly catching up, even at the pace that Lily was going. "Study Queen can't remember her own boyfriend's birthday."

"Anyways, I bet you had something planned for yourself, you egotistical boy!" Lily stormed, not even sparing me a glance.

"Hey!" I cried. "Most people don't insult their boyfriends, Miss Little I'm too prideful to admit anything that doesn't stand by the rules!"

"Excuse me? You're calling me prideful, Mister I am a bloody Marauder and I rule the school?" Lily stopped and rolled her eyes at me, then started again, red hair flying.

"You think I acted like I rule the school? Well, Carrot Top.." I began. Lily stopped dead.

"What did you call me?" Lily asked, narrowing her eyes, her tone deadly.

"Carrot Top." I teased. Lily took a step forward.

"Arrogant, lazy, self absorbed prat!" Lily screamed, face red.

"Teacher's pet, perfect, annoying queen!" I shouted right back at her. I wasn't even quite sure why we were arguing, but I was not going to let Lily win. I was James bloody amazing Potter. 

I defeated everyone.

"Troublemaker toerag!"

"Redheaded weirdo!"

"Beer Bottle glasses wearer!" (I did not make this up, I found this line online.)

"Your eyes mean death!"

"Your messy mop of hair makes me want to die!"

"Carrot Topped Freckled WHY IS IT SO HARD TO INSULT YOU?" I screamed, quickly running out of insults.

"Currently, I hate you!" Lily finished.

"I love you!" I called right back. The corridor was silent. I looked around, and realized where we were. Right outside of the common room. I thought I saw the door move slightly, but pushed it out of my mind. Lily and I stood in the corridor, neither one saying a word. Just then, the portrait flung open, and SURPRISE! was screamed from inside.

"What the-" I said, looking at Lily, who had stuffed her fist into her face to stop herself from laughing.

"James, of course I didn't forget your birthday! I was just supposed to keep you distracted while your friends set your party up! Now, come on, let's go have fun." Lily laughed and lead me into the common room.