You remembered the conversation between the two of you as if it had just happened the day before. It had been two weeks ago, but somehow the memories were still so incredibly fresh in your mind. Yoongi's words played over and over in your head, each one of them on repeat like a broken record.
There had been no fight as he agreed to what you asked, saying if it was what you really wanted than he would go without question. And that was what hurt more than anything. His ability to leave without looking back or asking to stay hurt, but you knew it was because he loved you.
He had been the only thing on your mind for the past couple of days, thoughts of how it used to be between the two of you. It was crazy to you just how quickly everything was over and he was gone. It was as if there was no relationship, nothing of him left in the apartment. You looked around, wondering what he was doing in that moment.
Of course you missed him. You had been with him for so long, but not being able to see him was getting to you. There was a point in the relationship where you started to feel the toll of having him gone constantly. And it had been affecting you in ways that were affecting your health and your anxiety levels.
You missed things about him you thought you had put into the past, but somehow they kept resurfacing no matter what you did. Thoughts of the nights you spent together, the countless dates the two of yo had gone on. You remembered the way he would laugh when you told a silly joke or the way he would smile when you whispered I love you in the early hours of the morning.
It was probably the worst thing you could have done, but you couldn't stop yourself as you searched for your phone. He was the only thing on your mind and you just needed to her his voice as if somehow it would push these feelings out of your system and you could finally move on without a problem. You wished that this would be the one thing that would solve your problems.
"Y/N?" Yoongi's voice questioned on the other side of the line. He had only taken seconds to pick up and you wondered if it was because he had seen your name flash across the screen or because his phone was laid on the table next to his bed. It was late at night, almost midnight and you knew he would have been in bed at this time, but you called anyways.
You choked on the words, not being able to push them out. They caught in your throat like a lump you couldn't get rid of and no matter how many times you tried to swallow around it, it wouldn't disappear. Yoongi's voice had caused something in your to well up and now it was trying to break free and out of you so it could be heard.
"I-I need you, Yoongi. I can't sleep and I just need you. Can you please come over?" You knew the question was a long shot, as you had dumped Yoongi and he probably wouldn't have wanted to see you anytime soon. That would have been the logical guess as to what would happen when you called.
"I'll be there in ten minutes." You were shocked by his response and you sat there completely dumbfounded for a moment. The line went dead and you stared at the wall in front of you, wondering what had exactly happened in that moment. Without hesitation Yoongi had picked up and answered you, saying he would see you in ten minutes.
It was silent in your room, and you were surprised when you heard the front door opening, realizing Yoongi still had a key to your apartment. He made his way inside and within a moment he found his way into your room. His eyes locked on yours and as if he could read your mind he was shrugging off his jacket and taking off his shoes, climbing into the bed with you and pulling you down under the covers.
You pressed yourself against Yoongi and squeezed your eyes shut, trying to ignore the pain welling up in your chest. You didn't want to cry because you thought it would make you seem weak. Although the phone call had already showcased just how weak you really were when it came to Yoongi.
"I missed you." You whispered quietly. It was the last thing that had breached your ears before you were soon falling asleep, surrounded by Yoongi's warmth and bathing in his touch.
When the sun finally decided to bleed in through the curtains, you had already been awake for a few moments. It was unusually warm in your bed and you weren't used to the space beside you being taken up by another body. As the thought crossed your mind for the second time you sat up straight and looked at the supposed person in your bed.
Yoongi's dark hair stood out as a contrast against the all white pillows, causing him to become noticeable immediately. As you realized it was him beside you in bed, you could feel a tightening beginning in your chest. You tried to breathe deeply but you were finding it hard to pull the air into your lungs, wondering where it had all gone.
You pushed yourself out of the bed and quickly left the room. Yoongi continued to occupy your thoughts but you ignored it, sitting down on the couch and hoping to push every last thought of him out. You didn't want to think about what you had done last night because the fear was too much for you. You weren't able to handle the idea that you had called Yoongi and asked him to come over despite what you had told him when the two of you had originally broken up.
A noise came from behind you and you turned your head, seeing a figure in the hallway. You made him out quickly and watched as Yoongi walked out into the living room, making his way over to where you were on the couch. He gave you a puzzled look as he stood to the side and you wondered how you were going to be able to explain what had happened without seeming like the bad guy.
"I'm sorry for calling you so late last night." You apologized immediately, knowing that it was the first thing you had to do. You needed him to know that it was an accident and you didn't mean for it to happen the way it did.
"It's okay, you needed me-"
"What I needed was someone to pay attention to me, and you just so happened to be it Yoongi." You answered. You didn't want him to get the wrong idea, and the only way you were able to get that across was to make it hurt. "It was a mistake. I shouldn't have called you to come over, okay?"
Yoongi stood quietly, not saying a single word to him. You couldn't make out the expression on his face, but there was something about it that made your chest swell and your heart ache. You didn't like the feelings that came along with it and you wished they would go away just as easily as they had the night before. You needed to get over Yoongi as soon as possible and this wasn't helping.
"I'm just a mistake to you?" He asked. The question made something twist in your gut, and you knew he had gotten it all wrong. The easiest thing for you to do however, was to agree with what he said.
"Yes." The atmosphere in the room changed as the words left your mouth but you didn't bother holding them back. If Yoongi could get over you first then it would make everything else easier. You knew you didn't have any control when it came to Yoongi so you needed someone else to act as the force keeping you from seeing him again.
There would be another slip up like this and next time you couldn't have him give in so easily. You couldn't have another moment like this where the two of you were put into the awkward situation. It had to be over, and if it meant breaking his heart for good than that's what you were going to do.
"Next time you need someone to pay attention to you, know I won't pick up." He said, a hint of anger in his tone. It was fair for him to be angry at you and you understood completely that this was what was to come of your decisions and actions. There was no taking it back after this and that was final.
"That's what I'm counting on."
"Why did I ever think about coming back here? God, I should have never agreed to go out with you in the first place." His hand came up and ran itself through his hair, something you had seen him do so many times before when he had become angry or frustrated. It hurt, now that it was directed at you but you held back the tears that started to brim in the corners of your eyes.
"Yoongi, if you're going to continue, please leave."
"I don't ever want to see you again, I don't care what happens after this but never try to contact me again. If you can't do it for yourself than do it for me." You let Yoongi's words sink in and you nodded, listening to the sigh he let out. You knew you could do it for him, because when you loved someone this much you would be willing to do anything for them. If it meant never seeing him again than you could do that.
You watched as Yoongi headed back to your room and didn't say a word as he left with his things. He didn't bother saying goodbye, or wishing you well, but you hadn't expected him too. You deserved what you got, because you were the one to break his heart. You were the one who had ruined his life and destroyed his relationship. It was because of you he wasn't happy.
As the door closed shut, you sat alone and wondered to yourself how you had ended up in this place. What had been the turning point that had changed everything before and made you into the person you were now? Why couldn't things be like the way they were before? And even though you knew these would remain unanswered, you tried to find an answer within yourself, one you knew wouldn't be coming anytime soon.
