Constraint >>H.S

Chapter 18

Harry wanted me to get better with his OCD and if he wanted me to help I would help. I knew Harry was trying to help me and dear god he did help me to feel more comfortable and strong.

Two days has gone by after the call I got from Dylan and I was back home from Harry. I went home the same day as I got the call just because I thought I had to go home and call dad and Dylan back and I did.
I spoke with them on the speak and they told me how my mother asked about me the last few minutes of her painful life. She wanted me there and it gutted me so bad that I just couldn't be there to say goodbye. I already missed her.

I also decided to tell dad and Dylan about Harry but absolutely not about our special relationship to each other,I more likely explained him as my friend and told them a little about his OCD which my dad were very curious about. We all three decided that I could stay here in London for awhile and come there in some weeks for the funeral,of course I wouldn't miss that.

After the call I just spent my afternoon watching tv and texting with Harry which was absolutely wonderful. I wouldn't be able to count all the times I giggled to myself,I'd lost track of times.

My breaths were heavy and my skin was sweating and burning from the sun above my head. It was really hot outside so I decided to take a jogging round around the park and the city now when there wasn't very many people around. In that way I could just clean out my head of harsh and heartbreaking thoughts.

"Alli!" I furrowed my eyebrows from what I thought was someone calling my name. I looked to my left and right but shook my head as I didn't see anyone at all and continued with my jogging.

"Alli!" I heard a familiar voice giggle behind me. A wide smile spread on my face as I stopped running and turned around.

"Hey Harry,sorry..I didn't hear you. Music" I chuckled and held up my white headphones. I looked down in the tall boys hand and recognised two ice creams in each of his hands.

"I saw you running down the road so I waited for you and bought us ice cream,I know you're working out but...Ice cream?" He held it out in front of me. We both let out laughs and I nodded accepting the ice cream in my hand.

"Thank you Sir"I chuckled and cursted. He chuckled nodded eating on his vanilla ice cream.
"So...How was your day?" I smiled and kept walking but with now Harry by my side.

"Uhm...normal" He sighed roughly shaking his head. Fast his eyes glued to something right in front of us,making him stop.

"Harry are you okay?" I looked to where he was looking but I couldn't see anything that could possibly bother this man.

"Red...Car uhm...yes it's a red...Car" he coughed and held onto his jacket zipper and zipped it up and down three downs.
I smiled small and him and chuckled.

"A habit?" He looked slowly over to me and nodded. I walked over to him and looked at the red car.
"Hold this for me?" I smiled and held my melting ice cream in front of him.

Confused he grabbed onto the ice cream and looked down on me,wondering what I was going to do.
I grabbed onto my jacket zipper and fast zipped it up and down three
Times,exactly like Harry did.

"What are you doing?" He asked giggling,still looking on my jacket.
I chuckled at him and laid my hand on his soft cheek and kissed it gently.

"Trying something new"I grabbed the ice cream and licked on it with a little grin on my face growing bigger.

"Hm...okay..." he frowned confused by why I just copied his action.
"Alli will still help me?"

I could see worry in Harry's eyes,he wasn't sure if I was going to help him but of course I'd help him. I didn't want to let him down. I don't just promise something and then throw it away,I promised Harry and with that I'll keep the promise.

"Harry of course I'll help you,BUT I need to know what is disturbing you so much honey..." I sighed and shook my head before sitting down on a bench in a tailor position,patting my hand next to me smiling up to Harry.

Slowly he sat down next to me and frowned deeply.

"Everything...I don't think you know how much is going on in my head right now" he blinked looking around in the park everywhere but not at me. His fingers were pinching onto his hoodies arm almost making a hole into it.
I widen my eyes and grabbed onto his hand fast but gently.

"Like what?...what is going on inside your head?..." a loud huff left him and he looked down on his hoodies arm.

"I have to blink with exact perfect timing...I have to..think about how I am breathing...like 1..." he takes a breath in.
"2" and he takes a breath out.
"I just want to...I just...UGH" he groaned loudly as he dragged his hand away from mine and punched himself in the head a multiple times.

"No! No Harry stop!" I gasped and grabbed onto his hands and punched them down as hard as I could against his knees.
"Harry calm down!" I fast sat down on the ground in front of him looking up at the numb boy with hair lying over his tires face.

"Hey...look at me" I whispered and placed a kiss on his hand. Fast he shook his head and shut his eyes tightly together.
"Harry...if you want my help,look at me"

I was truly worried about Harry right now and I didn't know how to act up but what I did seemed like it worked. I had never seen Harry hitting himself
in frustration and sorrow,I absolutely hated it.

"No hitting or punching babe...it's not good...not good at all. I don't want you to hurt yourself" gently I placed some hair behind his hair and what I saw behind his chocolate brow hair made my heart ache.

Tears rolled down his cheeks making his green eyes stand out even more.

"Hey...no don't cry Harry" I furrowed my eyebrows and stroke my hand on his cheek wiping away the tears with my thumb.

"I-I am tired of..this" he sobbed and shook his head.

"Come here now..." fast I laid my hands on his back and dragged him in my warm embrace,just holding him.

This boy did not deserve to feel less "normal" enough to make himself feel like he has to change himself. What the boy in my arms deserves if to be happy and to see and to realise that he is absolutely perfect just the way you are. I was going to make that happen and I was going to show Harry how he doesn't have to change himself.