Constraint >>H.S

Chapter 40

After a long poem that the priest read it was time for us all to lay down a red rose on my beautiful mothers coffin. It was hard but in some way it felt good because I knew at that moment that she wasn't in pain anymore,she were free from all the pain and all the hate in this world.

When the funeral was over with everyone was outside the church and ready to walk around and talk with each other but that's not what I felt like to do.
As fast as I got out from the church I sat down on a white little bench next to the church with Harry by my side.

"Do you really love me or did you feel forced to say it back?" Harry's head snapped up from the ground and fast looked over in my direction.

"Why would you think that?..." is all he asked before rubbing his fingers against his temples.
"I didn't feel forced but I felt like it was finally a good time for me to tell you how I feel" I looked at him while he were talking and I couldn't see anything that said he feels forced.

I loved him and he loved me,just like I wanted it to be. The way Harry stood up there with me in front of my mothers coffin felt very good. He were the rock that I needed at that very moment and he really helped me. What I said up there wasn't really what I planned to talk about but I just wouldn't be able to stand there without bursting into tears while holding a long speech.

I grabbed his face gently in my hands and pressed my lips to his. His lips pressed back onto mine slowly just how I loved his kisses. I didn't want to stop but I could feel everyone's judging eyes on us while they probably is talking shit about how inappropriate it was of us.
I pulled away and hugged him tight which he also responded to with his arms around my waist.

"I really don't feel like being here anymore...I-I have met my mom now and that is all I wanted to...I don't want to walk into a house and eat dinner with the others" I sobbed and shook my head while pushing my upper body closer to Harry's.

"Maybe you could go talk with your dad or Dylan? I can stay here" I looked up to him and furrowed my eyebrows. I really thought Harry was going to push me with the: no stay you will fix this perfectly.
But instead he didn't push me into all the overwhelming feelings but he accepted what I felt and that showed me how much respect he had.

I nodded slowly and stood up from the spot.
"I will be right back" I turned around and scanned all the people in front of the church with glasses with different liquors in them. Finally I found Dylan standing with my mothers best friend with red swollen eyes,he looked so heartbroken.

With quick steps I moved towards them and between all the people.
"Dylan?" I mumbled and grabbed his arm gently. He looked down on me and gave me one of his sad smiles.
"Can we talk?" Dylan nodded and excused himself to my mothers friend and walked me over to the churches wall.

"What's wrong yeah?" He asked with worried eyes as my own teared up. I didn't say anything just so I could try to get me some strength to talk.
"Allison talk to me..." I looked up to my brother and sobbed.

"I-I Um...I can't stay here...with all the people" I shook my head and ran my hand through my hair.
"C-can me and Harry go home?..." Dylan smiled understanding towards me and hugged me close.

"Yeah sure...Alli I am really proud of you" I kissed his cheek and nodded.

"Thank you...Tell dad about the situation and hopefully he won't be mad" Dylan nodded and kissed my forehead.
"Don't call me Allison by the way...It's ugly" Dylan rolled his eyes and grinned at me.

"I love you Allison!" I sighed and smiled as I walked backwards.

"I love you too" when I turned around Harry were right in front of me.

"Allison? That's your birth name?" Harry smiled and laid his arm around my waist.

"Yeah...I dont really think it suits me though" I frowned and walked over to the car. Harry let out one of his deep chuckles while shaking his head.

"It suits you Well...Beg your pardon I'll call you Allison sometime" He smirked before jumping into the car. I chuckled to myself and at inside of the car next to him.
"Are you sure you want to leave?" I looked over to were all the people were gathered,in tears while hugging each other's.

I didn't like the sad aura around everyone,it really made my heart sink down to what felt like the under ground were the devil rests. I didn't want people to come up to me and hug me and cry until they were in front of me on their own knees. I just wanted to go home and grief while lying in Harry warm embrace.

I shoved the key in the car and turned the car on,making the motor brum loudly.
"Yes..."

"Please out your seatbelt on Alli" Harry begged while putting the belt around himself. I didn't really care much,I just shook my head and pulled out to the road.
"Please Alli put your belt on" Harry mumbled and looked down on me. My hands squeezed onto the wheel and my nails digged into the leather.

"Pl-"

"Fine" I cut him of and fast pulled the belt over my chest and 'locked it in'. In the corner of my eyes I could see Harry's head sink down and his eyes looking down in his lap. I made him feel small and I felt stupid.

"I'm sorry..." I mumbled and bite my lip like I thought the tears would stay back in my eyes but of course that didn't work. My tears slowly ran down my cheeks making the thin layer of foundation look even worse than before.

"It's okay...Your body is overwhelmed with emotions,don't apologise because that is just one more unimportant feeling to lay on yourself" it surprised me,how Harry's words suddenly meant so much more to me. He knew how to talk and he know how to handle things good.

The ride home the car were filled with silence and I really loved it. Harry's hand were holding onto mine and didn't let go...so just couldn't wait to get back home.

What do you feel about Alli???