Whispers

Confidence

I think I need to rant about this. I was going to do it on Facebook, but I changed my mind though I might still. Anyways.

Over the past couple of months, I've built a lot of confidence in myself. I used to be so self-conscious and depressed and not wanting to show much skin, especially if that skin was hairy. But now...I'm willing to show more. Not completely, but I'm mostly like "fuck it, they can judge me, take it or leave it." It's a great feeling, and I believe it's a big part of what makes me happy. I've been happier too, a lot happier. I'm not this sad little emo anymore. I believe in myself, I am beautiful, I want to only speak the truth, not matter what anyone says. I want to be confident in my feelings, I don't want to hold back on affection anymore. I regret holding back before, I'm sorry that I was too scared to do anything. I wanted to, but I was terrified. If I like someone, I want to tell them. If I want to kiss someone, I want to actually do it instead of it being becoming an almost. I speak all these great empowering words, but I think when it comes the chance, I'll back out again. I hope I don't, but when it comes in my head I want to think the terrifying thoughts, because I know I will. but I want to just do it. I want to go for it. I want to say fuck it. 

And confidence is a great thing to have. As long as you're confident in yourself, it feels as though nothing can stop you. Except for, well, authorities but uh *cough* let's not talk about them. 

You matter. You are special. You are beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you differently. They're being rude, people shouldn't do that. Please try to be happy and confident, it can really help. Everything will be okay.

Wow, I don't know why that went there but let's just go with it.

Anyways yeah, you need to be confident in yourself and you need to have hope because those are two of the best things you could ever have. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks of you, it's what you think of yourself. Say what you want to say, do what you want to do. And if people tease you about it, it's their loss. Do you want to do because it makes you happy. 

Well, I guess that's it. I just wanted to express how fucking proud I am of myself for becoming who I am now, for finally being confident and happy and willing to say what I will no matter what others will think about it. 

Written: 6/16/17 12:12 am (so it's technically the 17th but still)