Whispers

Why / Thoughts

Why do I want to cry for no reason

How the hell does my mood go from 10 to 2

Why can't I stop thinking about you lately

What if it was different

Why can't you go away

Why did do I do this to myself

Why do I want my friends to notice when something's wrong instead of me saying it

Why am I always tired

Why is there so much homework

Why does life matter

I'm so fucking scared to grow up that i want to cry

Do i want to try band and chorus

It would matter if I just disappeared

I know my friends care as much for me as i do them

So why do they not see if something's wrong even in text

maybe that's the problem

I wish I'd stop thinking about all the memories

I wish knew how you really felt

I wish I could be Thomas Sander's genuine friend

But I'm only a fan and he's older

I wish I could sleep longer

Maybe I'll just go sleep

Or better yet

Watch something to make me feel better

But what if that only remind me of her again

I hope I can meet my internet friends

I wonder what that would be like

I forgot to write in my journal today

I almost said ily to a friend who used to be my best friend 

But I didn't

Can I just stop

I wish she'd just go away

I brought this on myself I know, 

But I think it only affects me because I cared the most,

So when I thought she didn't,

I finally left

Maybe I shouldn't have

Maybe I should have

Either way it's done now

But her ghost still haunts me

She's not even a big part of my life

Why do i write about her so much

I need to stop this is stupid

Why do i feel like such a disappointment and a huge burden sometimes

Why does life have to be so complicated

I guess I'll go now

It's all pointless

Written: 2/2/18 5:49m