Diary Opened

June 17th 2017

I could spend hours wasting time, watching TV, exploring websites anything that takes my mind away. Watching shows which provides me moment of bliss where I get to live in another world observe people with imperfectly crafted lives. Even reading offers an opportunity to escape.

I wondered why. Why was I so keen to seek opportunities to stop thinking and simply enjoy the present. Maybe it's because living in a separate world not only allows for entertainment it allows us a chance to run away from the pressures which surround us, even if that pause button only lasts as long as that show, that song, that book, that paper can divert your focus. 

We live in an age of distractions. Surrounded by electronics we try to spend as much time possible avoiding something. Perhaps we're avoiding ourselves. When I seek refuge from my own mind I often think it may be because I'm scared to think. I'm scared to dwell on the future or fall into the past. My mind can become surrounded by plans that must be made or opportunities I must seize otherwise I may be falling behind. But when I'm watching TV or reading that book it's a chance for me to imagine a place with perfect people leading entertaining lives not for me to turn the mirror back onto myself. 

I suppose scared isn't the right word, I don't believe we are scared of our minds not in the sense we are worried about what may lurk in them. Rather I feel this great pressure and burden which settles back down on me anytime I stop living in someone else's world. My thoughts become more vivid, and I am simply aware of everything which surrounds me. Yes, my mind is free to wander, but where will it go? Will it seek old memories that make me smile or cringe? Will it contemplate the finite end to all the things that surround us? 

Life just appears so heavy when you spend time to think. Maybe that is why we chose to escape. Chose to say screw the consequences, I can't allow myself to think of anything but the now. 

We lack control in our lives. We sometimes micromanage and panic about the things that are within our reach because on the flip side there is so much to life that is out of our hands. The order of the universe whether it be luck or something else determines our fate and at the end of the day how much do our choices honestly impact that?

Our society continues looking for ways to gain control, through curing sickness and modifying genes, using science and technology to compensate for ideas out of humanities reach. Technology has become an extension of the human race being pursued through innovation to expand our capabilities. But surely that extension of technology may only take us so far.

I dare say the most popular and successful inventions offer a trade for leisure. That smartphone, that treadmill, even that microwave all are designed to make some aspect of our lives easier or more attainable. Technology being used to make the human life less work and more comfortable. While I have no objections isn't that another thought a surprising amount of people have in common. The desire to work as little as possible to reap grand rewards. If you could have the world on a silver platter without having to even get up off the couch would you not take it?

Leisure and ease of life. That appears to be an ultimate goal for so many. The incentive for hard work is a reward. There has never been any question about that relationship. Whether that reward is of monetary value or simply a feeling you get in return all work is done for a purpose. 

The world almost takes on a different face when you look at it simply through that dreary perspective of dealings, self-interest and reason, but while those are present factors in society there are layers to them which come with the good and the bad. Donations to charity, doctors helping children in foreign countries, all actions are taken for a purpose. I suppose that's why there is always a "why" in every situation we face. Because inherently we know there is no action without a motive.