My Dedication (Austin Carlile Fan Fic)

Ch. 17

*week later*

*Sophia's POV*

I stood outside of Alexa's bus. I was so nervous. I hadn't talked to her since the last time I had messed up.

I knocked on the door and waited. Lewis opened the door and motioned for me to come in.

I stepped on and hugged Lewis. "Where is she?"

"Back room."

I walked to the back lounge and found Alexa. She was smoking a cigarette and looking at something on her laptop.

"Lex?" I said.

She looked up at me and then looked back at the computer.

I walked in and took the computer. I set it down on the floor and got on my knees in front of her.

"Alexa. I am so sorry." I said.

She shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"Lex. I mean it. I'm so sorry for behaving the way I did. If was unfair and stupid."

Alexa ignored me.

I took her hand and kissed it. "Lexie, please talk to me. You're my best friend. I can't handle this anymore."

She looked at me and her eyes filled with tears. "Soph. I can't handle losing my best friend. And that's what's gonna happen if you keep drinking."

I shook my head. "No more drinking. I promise."

"You've said that so many times before. Why should I believe you now?"

"Because I'm actually happy now." I said.

She frowned at me. "You weren't before?"

"Not like I am now. Before, that was all fake. Sometimes it was real. But now, Lex, I feel like a totally different person." I smiled. "With Austin, it's different. He cares about me, Lex. He looks at me like nobody ever has before."

Alexa smiled. "Really?"

I nodded. "Yes. He makes me feel like I'm worth something." Alexa frowned. "Lex, don't get me wrong. I know you guys love me. But this feeling is different." I got up on the couch next to her. "I've never felt so comfortable and warm with someone before. When he looks at me, it's like the world slows down and it's just me and him. When he touches me I feel like everything's gonna be okay." I smiled at her.

She smiled back and hugged me. "I love you, Soph."

I hugged her and kissed her cheek. "I love you, Lex."

There was a knock on the door. Lewis stepped in. He looked sad.

"What's wrong?" Alexa asked.

He held out her phone. "It's your dad."

Alexa grabbed the phone and ran to the front room. I looked at Lewis.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

Lewis shook his head. "Her brother died."

My chest tightened. "Matt?" My eyes filled with tears. "My ex husband?"

Lewis sat down and put his arm around me. "Yeah. He died in his sleep."

I looked at him, a tear rolling down my cheek. "He's dead?"

Lewis nodded. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head. "I don't know."

We were silent for a few minutes. Lewis rubbed my back and held my hand.

"What's going through your mind?" He asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know how to feel. I'm fucking heart broken. But then at the same time, I wanna cheer." I looked up at him. "I'm such a bad person."

He shook his head. "No. That's normal to feel that way. You're sad because of your history with him. You were with him for a long ass time. But you're happy because you feel he got what he deserved because he killed your baby." Lewis pulled me close to him.

I clung to him. "I can't believe he's gone."

Lewis kept rubbing my back. "I know. He's so young."

I closed my eyes. Remembering when we were together. "You know, he really wasn't a bad guy. Everything was perfect, until that one day. He just lost it." I started sobbing.

Lewis hugged me and comforted me until I calmed down.

Alexa came in. I sat up and looked at her. She was pale, her eyes were red and she looked like she was gonna have a break down.

I held out my arms. She came to me and collapsed into my lap. She started sobbing. I did too. Lewis held us both and cried with us. We cried for hours. Just the three of us. We all held eachother and just cried our hearts out.