My Dedication (Austin Carlile Fan Fic)

Ch. 18

*next morning*

*Sophia's POV*

I layed in Austin's bunk with him. I curled up against his chest running my finger up and down his scar.

He wrapped his arms around me and stroked my hair. "Soph?"

"Hmm?"

"You're happy, right?" He said.

I smiled. "Of course."

"Like really happy?"

I nodded. "Yes. You make me happy. I haven't felt this way in a long time." I kissed his scar. "Actually, to be honest, I don't think I've ever been this happy." I looked up at him. "Thank you."

He smiled and kissed my forehead.

I looked back down at his chest and touched his scar. "Austin?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"Are you afraid?" I asked.

"Afraid of what?" He rolled over onto his back and closed his eyes.

I propped myself up on my elbow and layed my other hand on his belly. "Are you afraid of dying?"

He opened his eyes and frowned. "Why are you thinking about that?"

I shrugged. "I think about death a lot. I've lost so many people in my life, it's impossible not to think about it."

Austin put his hand over my hand. "Are you afraid of it?"

I nodded. "Terrified." I looked down at our hands. "I don't want to die. I don't wanna suffer or be scared or hurt."

Austin shook his head. "Why do you think about this stuff?"

I looked at him. "I've lost every single person that has ever meant anything to me. Except for my brother, I've lost my entire family." I put my hand on my belly. "Can I tell you something?"

Austin nodded.

I took a deep breath. "When I was with Danny, I had two miscarriages. He doesn't know about them."

Austin shook his head and held my hand. "I'm sorry, Sophia."

"I'm not even woman enough to have a baby." I looked into his eyes. "My body has killed 3 babies."

He pulled me into his chest. "No, baby. Don't think that way."

I started crying and Austin held me close. He rubbed my back and soothed me.

He kissed me and wiped my tears away. "You're gonna be okay, Soph. You have no reason to be afraid of anything." He kissed me again. "I'm gonna protect you."

I pulled away. "Austin. I can't have kids. I won't ever be a mother. I have no family other than my brother and he's in a home."

Austin kissed me. "Why are you telling me this?"

I held his hand. "Austin, I don't want you to get your feelings involved if you can't handle this."

Austin cupped my chin and kissed me, so passionately. When he stopped I felt empty inside.

"Sophia. My feelings are involved. My feelings have been involved since the moment I saw you. I wanna take care of you. I want to wake up and see you next to me. I wanna run my fingers across your body and kiss those lips." He kissed me. "Soph. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."

I kissed him and curled up against him. "Please don't ever leave me." I whispered.