Zodiacs

CLV

the signs and why theyre undatable

aries: they think everything is a joke, yet somehow takes everything too damn serious anyway. scare people away

taurus: too chill, never chill enough. whatever they're doing it's too much of it. expects ppl to take care of them and has the attention span of a goldfish

gemini: everything is a personal attack, can't lower their standards without feeling like theyre compromising themselves, thinks they're too smart for their partner

cancer: perpetual crier, always wants to hash out a disagreement RIGHT. NOW. doesn't know how to give people space to process their own feelings

leo: can't stop talking about themselves, never considers their partners point of view, intentionally leaves ppl behind if they can't keep up

virgo: obsessed with perfection, susceptible to criticism, will either be emotionally impenetrable or a mess of feelings

libra: can't make a decision about a person to save their life, will make a list of pros and cons and never read it, head higher than the throne of god

scorpio: will be petty and play games for no reason, everything is disposable including people, emotes only for The Drama of it all

saggitarius: absent, unavailable, lets their phone battery run out and won't charge it for 3 days, doesn't know when the party is over, considers a good morning text to be clingy

capricorn: look up bougie in the dictionary, you'll find a capricorn, needs constant reassurance but pretends that they don't, thinks the world is against them

aquarius: cant take the blame. tell everyone that their independent but always need someone to feel accepted. dont want love just want attention

pisces: martyr fetishist who cant commit to any one person and carries emotional baggage from the last 6 relationships. lowkey evil when they sense the end of a relationship and makes everyone think it's your fault