The Darkest Of Days

Chapter 10 - Phil

A/N: Hey guys, this chapter has a trigger warning. It’ll be descriptive as well. The part that’s triggering will be clearly marked before and after the scene so it’s easy to skip over, just be aware that there will be mentions of it after that part as well. Remember to stay safe

Phil woke up late into the day after a long night of crying himself to sleep. Staying true to his morning schedule, he rolled over and checked his phone. Opening Twitter, he was immediately greeted with countless messages of “What’s wrong with Dan?”

Horrified, he thought something terrible had happened to him. He panicked as he continued to scroll through, looking for anything that could tell him what happened. And then he came across a tweet with the caption of “Are Dan and Phil ok?” Followed by a clip from Phil’s newest video. “What could be wrong with Dan relating to my video?” Phil thought to himself as he clicked the video.

As he watched the video play out, he cried. How could he forget to take out the phone call? He had been in such a rush to go hide from the world, he did a sloppy job editing, but how could he do that?! Dan must be so pissed at him.

Phil felt so trapped. He fucked up. Dan probably hates him even more now, the Phandom now knows that their perfectly crafted image is completely false, and Phil now hates himself even more.

********TRIGGER WARNING*********

Mindlessly, Phil walked to the kitchen and grabbed a glittering knife. ‘it’s so tempting.' He thought to himself. He gently ran the blade along his wrist. The feeling if the metal excited him. It made him feel alive. He needed more. This time he pushed down when he drew the knife across. Small droplets of deep red blood started gathering on his wrist and running down his arm. He breathed a sigh as relief swept through him.

******TRIGGER WARNING END*******

Just then someone knocked on his door. “Just a minute!” he called out and he quickly cleaned everything, leaving no trace of what he did, quickly put on a sweater, and went to answer the door.

He opened it and stood there in shock. He was suddenly enveloped in a hug. “Hey, Phil. I know it’s been a while, but I saw your most recent video. Are you ok?” he whispered softly to Phil.

PJ. He hasn’t spoken to PJ in about a year, but here he was.

That’s when Phil let it all out. He sobbed and sobbed into PJ’s neck. PJ stood there, letting Phil let it out, before pulling out of the hug and dragging Phil to his couch. He sat against the corner, pulled Phil into him and just hugged him.

Phil continued to cry with his head on PJ’s chest and made an attempt to explain what was going on.

“Th-the Fangirls became too much. The shipping was too forceful, Dan couldn’t handle it anymore. So…so he left…he moved out and I feel so lost and I feel like he hates me. I tried to stop it the best I could…but there was nothing I could do. And now I’ve become sloppy with editing and now everyone knows that we aren’t getting along and I can’t fix it.” Phil almost told him about what he had done just before he had visited, but decided against it. He didn’t want PJ thinking he was even more broken. “I just don’t know what to do” He finished softly.

PJ sat there, listening patiently as Phil told his story. He could tell there was something Phil was leaving out, but he didn’t want to push him. He rubbed Phil’s back soothingly and waited for him to calm down some more before speaking. “What if you did a Dan and Phil Games video? That way your fans can see that you two still get along and maybe it could clear up some of the awkward tension between the two of you. Might make you feel better.”

“That’s…not a bad idea actually….but what if Dan says no? What if he hates me and wants nothing to do with me?” Phil replied in a panic.

“Phil, calm down. You won’t know until you try. Why don’t you try giving him a call now? Apologize for forgetting to edit that out and suggest doing a video together to get the fans off your back.” PJ tried to calm Phil down.

“Ok, I’ll do it. But only if you promise to stay here while I do” Phil said shakily as he pulled out his phone and called Dan.

It rang 7 times. Phil was just about to hang up, when he heard it.

“Hello?”