The Darkest Of Days

Chapter 5 - Dan

Dan was laying on his old bed just staring at the roof. 'How had things gotten this bad? Everything had been fine for so long, what changed?' Dan kept asking himself. But he knew what changed. And he thought it was a good change in the beginning. Instead, it just made everything so much worse. Dan had stopped caring what people thought. He changed his online name from danisnotonfire to Daniel Howell because HE wanted to, even though he knew the Phandom would be pissed. Although, amazingly, most didn't seem to mind. He had stopped being so careful with his interactions with Phil in videos. They were friends for fucks sakes. He should be allowed to interact with him in a more intimate way like all best friends do. And it was amazing not having to be cautious of everything he did. And he was right, wasn't he? No. Of course not. Of course, things in his life couldn't be that easy. 

It was fine at first. People thought it was cute that they weren't being as stiff and careful in their videos. They said it looked more natural. And then it started slowly getting worse. The Phandom started editing everything they did to make it all look like something more. Dan was fine with the shipping, but it went from 'Phan proof' to cruel messages, horrible photos and explicit phan art. It went too far over the top. Almost every time they went outside, they were followed home by one of their 'fans' shouting vulgar things like asking how big their dicks were and how rough were they. They couldn't even leave their damn house. So Dan left.

A tear fell silently down Dan's cheek as he thought about the last few months. It was all his fault. Phil was getting punished for it and that wasn't fair to him. Dan hoped that moving out would save Phil the strife of having to fear his every move. He knew he had to of hurt Phil deeply, but what other choice did he have? Taking a deep breath, Dan got up and went to get his camera. May as well get this video over with. Then he can break down all he wanted. He finished filming as quickly as he could. Once he had finished and crawled into his bed and buried his head under the blankets. This didn't feel right. None of this felt right. This wasn't home. What did feel right was being at his true home...with Phil. But that wasn't possible anymore.

Dan blamed himself so much. He felt he deserved all of this hurt. After all, he was hurting Phil. The one thing Dan had promised to never do. He groaned into his pillow. He just wanted to punch something until his hand bled. He deserved it. If only he hadn't become so damn confident. He pulled his head out from under the blankets. The wall looked so inviting right now. Blood running down along the walls from his fist. It was so tempting.