Better with you-Shyland Fanfiction

19-The Mirror

TRIGGER WARNING:  SELF HATE AND SELF HARM.

Shane woke up the next morning to a note on Ryland's pillow.

Hey Shaney! Sorry, they called me into work early.  Starbucks is in the fridge.  Love you! Xo,
Ryland

Shane sighed, and rolled out of bed, sore from moving around so much the previous night.

Slowly but surely,  he made his way downstairs,  and sure enough, a mocha frappe was waiting for him when he opened the fridge.

"I love that boy," he muttered to himself as he sipped his drink. He hobbled over to the couch and pulled out his laptop to put the finishing touches on his video for the day.

When he was finished,  he looked at the clock and saw it was only 10:00, so he had a few hours before it needed to be uploaded.

He laid down, and scrolled through his phone aimlessly,  thinking about the night before,  specifically, when Ryland made him take his shirt off.

He pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind,  until he came across a picture of him and his friends drunk at a party,  and he smiled,  until he looked closer at himself.

(Just wanted to quickly say I love Shane and do not think, mean, or say any of this next stuff. Ok continue.)

He was in a weird position that made all his chins show, and not in a good way. It was one thing when he did it on YouTube as a joke, but this was unintentional.

He also had his shirt lifted up to reveal his hairy chest and stomach. Not only that,  but he seemed to be pushing his belly out to make it seem even bigger than it already was.

Shane looked at the date of the picture,  and saw it wasn't that long ago.  Do I really look that bad? He thought,  and frowned, standing up,  trying to steady himself.

Once he got his balance, he made his way to his room,  and went into the back of his closet.

Sitting there, covered by a sheet,  was a full-length mirror.  Shane grabbed the sheet,  and yanked it off.

He then proceeded to strip all the way down to his boxers,  tossing his clothes to the side,  all while avoiding looking at the mirror.

He closed his eyes,  and lifted his head. Slowly opening his eyes, he began to cry as he looked at himself.

After staring at himself for a few minutes, he took his hands and put them on his stomach, gripping it forcefully. He began to dig his nails into his flesh until blood began to show.

Then he grabbed a chair,  and sat down, letting out a sob as his belly folded over into flaps.  He stared down at himself,  letting the blood and tears fall.

His hands then gripped his thighs,  as he proceeded to make them bleed as well.  He continued to stare at his body in hate and cry,  until he heard the front door open.

"Shane?" He heard a voice call from downstairs. "I was on my lunch break,  and thought I'd stop by." It was Garrett.

Shane panicked. He grabbed his clothes, and ran to the shower, turning the water on.  He jumped in,  and tried to wash all the blood off, ignoring the burning sensation.  He heard a knock at the bathroom door, and it opened.

"Hey Shane?  You doing ok?" Garret asked,  peeking his head in.

"I'm fine," Shane answered,  peeking his head out,  meeting Garrett's eyes. He forced a fake smile, trying to make it look convincing.

"Are you sure?" Garret asked,  looking concerned. "You're eyes are red, have you been crying?"

"No," Shane said quickly, and Garrett gave him a suspicious look. "I just got some soap in my eyes,  that's all." He said, trying to smile again.  Garrett still looked suspicious,  but nodded,  smiling back.

"Ok," he said. "Well then, I'll leave you to your shower.  Just wanted to stop back and check in."

"Ok," Shane said. "Thanks.  See you later."

"Bye," Garrett said as he shut the door. Shane sighed in relief, and looked down at his body. Some spots were still bleeding, but most of them had clotted. He continued to cry as the water hit his skin.

Garrett closed the door,  and thought. Something was off. He went into Shane's room,  and noticed the closet door was wide open, so he went in.

The first thing he noticed was the mirror,  which he knew Shane always kept hidden. Then he looked at the chair, and saw it and the floor was dotted with red.

Blood, he thought, and frowned. He went back to the bathroom, and pressed his ear on the door, trying to listen.  Over the water,  he heard Shane sobbing. He frowned, thinking.

He went back into his car,  and sat there,  piecing it all together.  The mirror,  the blood,  and the crying.  Then he got it.

He immediately pulled out his phone,  and called Ryland.  He answered on the third ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey Ryland.  It's me, Garrett." He said, sounding concerned.

"Oh hey Garrett," Ryland said, sensing the tone in his voice. "What's wrong?"

"It's Shane." He said, and Ryland perked up.

"What happened?  Is he ok?" Ryland asked, desperate to know if his boyfriend was ok.

"Well," Garrett said,  suddenly hesitant. "I think he might be hurting himself. I went to check on him,  and his mirror was uncovered,  and there was spots of blood on the floor when I looked.  Plus, I heard him crying,  and he just seemed off." Ryland had gone quiet. "Ryland?" He asked.

"Oh yeah,  sorry."

"Do you want me to stick around?" He asked, wanting to make sure Shane was ok.

"No that's alright,  I'm coming home now." Ryland said.

"Ok. Well keep me updated, ok?"

"Ok. Thanks Garrett." He said, close to tears.

"No problem.  Bye Ryland."

"Bye," Ryland said, hanging up.  He waved Lily over,  trying not to cry.

"What's up Ry?" She asked,  looking concerned.

"Is it ok if I head out?" He asked, letting a tear escape.  He quickly wiped it away.

"Why?" She asked.

"It's Shane," he explained. "He-he's hurting himself. I need to get home to him."

"Of course, go." She insisted, waving him off. "Let me know how he is though, ok?" She asked, since her and Shane were pretty good friends, after they had forgiven her for the whole "kissing" fiasco.

"I will.  Thanks Lil. Love you!" He called as he walked out.

"Love you too!" She called back.

Ryland walked out,  and got in his car, tears now streaming down his face. He started it, and began to drive to where his boyfriend was hurting.

Author's Note: Hey guys!  I'm really sorry I haven't updated in a few days, I've been feeling kinda down these past few days, and I haven't been really feeling the motivation to write. But I'm doing better, so I'll probably update either tomorrow or Monday,  depending on my mood.  Thank you guys so much for understanding! Ok, bye!