I thought we were infinite {BlackTan}

七

[Guys please love this cover. She makes covers of other BTS songs too, also other groups. Author is really really sleepy now, ba-bye!]

{1 year ago}

Her eyes flutter open and she's grasping the duvets tightly as if it could save her. She blinks several times and tries to focus on the ceiling of her room but the memories are still haunting her.

The brunette walks out of bed, half-awake and goes to the kitchen to get her pills. She hisses in pain when she gets a cut from a knife that's just hapzardly on the counter. At least she's fully awake now as she opens the sink and cleans her rather long cut. Thankfully, it wasn't that deep but she'll have to go to the bathroom for the band-aid.

It's Yoongi again, the brunette's eyes glisten with tears. Why can't she forget him? It should've been easier for her now, but he's still there in her heart. Jisoo just wants to scream in frustration; it won't do anything but at least it'll relieve some of her stress.

He's the reason why she can't sleep at night anymore. Everywhere she goes, he's always there and it's scaring her. She recalls making a joke a few years back and it's ironic to her right now as she listens to her heartbeat.

"Do you hear that, oppa?" Jisoo smiled cheekily as he cuddled her stomach and pressed his ear to her chest. "Yoon-gi, yoon-gi, yoon-gi."

Jisoo stares at the clean cut on her finger now, a tear falling down her cheek as she goes to the bathroom to get a bandage. It's around 3 in the morning but at least she can skip classes tomorrow since she's done with all the requirements. The tiles feel cold to her bare feet as she trudges to the room. Immediately opening the mirror to reveal a cabinet, she deftly applies it to her finger and thinks of ways to get sleepy again.

"Just one more year, Jichu." She says to herself as she makes her way back to her bedroom. "and then you'll see oppa and taetae again."

The darkness in her room and the cold air was beckoning her to slumber and she was nearly going to do so when her phone started ringing. Her eyes tried to adjust to the quick change of light as she answered the call.

"Lady S?"

Only a few people called her by that, and she was quick to straighten up and reply. "Doyeon-ah? Isn't it late where you are right now?"

A pleasant chuckle from the other side of the phone. "Yes, but did I wake you, Lady?"

"No." Jisoo replied, stifling a yawn. "Is there a problem?"

It takes the older girl some time to reply before doing so. "Not really."

A thought passes through the brunette's mind that even has her a bit scared.

"Do you want to quit?"

"No!" It's a bit loud, so Jisoo takes the phone away from her ear and places it a few centimeters away. "I mean a few months after her graduation, yeah, but not now," Doyeon chuckles. "I enjoy my job, Lady."

The medical student only hums in response, not really knowing how to respond to that. Not a lot of people know the nature of Doyeon's work and she prefers it to be more private.

"We miss having you around, S." The older girl says softly. "I only wanted to know how you're doing."

A quick flashback to her countless sleepless nights and the cut earlier suddenly plays. "I'm doing great." Then Jisoo can't help the yawn. "Go to sleep, unnie. You'll need it."

Doyeon giggles as she ends the call, amused that Jisoo was like that.

Now undisturbed, the brunette looks over her shoulder to her bed and takes her time in walking towards her bed. When her head hits the pillows and her body is covered by the soft duvet, she cuddles even more into the bed. It had been far more comfier and warmer when Yoongi slept---

Jisoo scowls at remembering the man she left behind. Even now she feels guilty about it; but it was starting to get toxic and that wouldn't do any of them good.

Her eyelids are already dropping as it cries for rest but she reaches for her phone again and earbuds, wearing it. She opens her conversation with Seokjin and looks at the files, remembering the song he used to sing to her so she could sleep.

Yeah it's my fate, it's my fate.
Even so, I still want to fight and win, oh.

Maybe I, I can never fly
Fly like those flower petals there, spread my wings in the air
I can't yeah
Maybe I, I can't touch the sky
Even so I reach out my hand
Ran like I just began a bit more.

The irony of the title is late on her, and with her brother's angelic voice singing softly in her ears, Jisoo can finally sleep again.