More Than Just A Baseball Game

24: "I deserve it."

Lorelei's pov

A few days have passed since the funeral and the school is still quiet.

Girls who had never talked to him before are crying to counselors, the baseball team is making a memorial, and Zuri has been MIA ever since the hospital.

I don't blame her for distancing herself for a while but a little text every now and then to make sure she's ok would be nice.

I walked down the silent halls trying to get to my next class when I bumped into Hudson. My books went flying to the ground as Hudson and I scrambled to pick them up.

"Sorry." He mumbled

"You're fine." I smiled. He began to walk away but I grabbed him by his jacket sleeve. "We need to talk, diner later?

"Sure." He sighed then left without a trace. I felt as if I owed this much to Hudson as to tell him how i feel. I shouldn't have told him that us sleeping together meant nothing because it didn't. He made me feel needed, wanted even.

I made my way to class with seconds to spare and slid into my desk right next to Sutton. She seemed a bit out of it like she was in a haze.

"Sutton what's wrong?" I wondered

"Nothing just tired. I've been spending the night at Ariel's for a while because she's so sad about the accident. It's like she didn't know him for very long but somehow he had a big impact in her life. He must've said something before the accident but she won't say what." Sutton answered

"Give her time, I'm sure she'll tell us what he said eventually."

"Maybe if she talks to Zuri they'll talk about it and we'll found out what he said!" Sutton exclaimed as if she spent hours solving an impossible puzzle.

"Why do you want to know what he told her so bad?" I asked half laughing

"Because, the sooner we find out what he said the sooner I'll be able to sleep in my own bed. Maybe talking about him with Zuri will help her cope & I won't need to stay at her house anymore." Sutton explained

"Whatever you say." I replied then the teacher began to ramble on about Shakespeare.

After school I drove over to the diner and waited for Hudson. I ordered the usual, pancakes and a water then began to read Looking For Alaska. After I read a few sections I checked the time, 5:37. It had been over an hour and still no Hudson. Just as I was about to walk out of the diner I got a text from him.

Hudson- sorry I had something come up, maybe we should catch up some other time. We should just pretend like this "didn't happen" see you tomorrow.

I thought meeting at the diner would help us clear things up but since he's so set on the idea of hating my guts I guess we'll never get past it.

"I deserve it." I mumbled to myself

"You deserve what?" A stranger from behind me asked. As I turned I noticed it was Chastity.

"Nothing, just talking to myself." I replied as I gathered my things.

"Oh c'mon you can talk to me, all this drama aside we're still friends." She said as she put a pouty face.

I felt as if I was crawling into a lions den. If I told her what was going on she'd have ammunition, a reason to pounce at any second.

"I really should get going." I walked out of the diner as fast as I could before she could ask me anymore questions. As I started my car I got a text from Sutton.

Sutton- come to Ariel's, she wants to talk to you.

Lorelei- omw

I pulled up to Ariel's only to find them swaying on Ariel's porch swing. I walked up her front steps and I could hear the pain in Ariel's voice as she greeted me.

"How are you doing?" I asked her

"It gets better and better each day." She replied wiping a tear off her cheek.

"Has Zuri texted you back yet?" Sutton wondered

"Yeah, she told me to come over anytime." Ariel answered

"Well let's go!" Sutton exclaimed trying to lighten the mood

"I don't know..." Ariel hesitated

"You should talk to her A, it might make both of you feel better." I suggested

"Okay, let's go then." Ariel said then we all hopped in my car.

We walked into Zuris house which was covered in flowers and mail from grieving family members and acquaintances.

"Zuri?" Ariel shouted throughout the house.

"I'm up here!" A surprisingly cheerful voice answered. We walked up the long staircase only to be greeted with Zuri shuffling through her brothers drawers.

"What are you doing?" Sutton wondered

"Looking for my brothers old journal." Zuri answered

"Why?" I asked

"Because that's where the answers are." She explained as she began throwing things around the room.

"Answers to what?" I questioned

"Just stop asking questions and help me find it." Zuri demanded. She began to run around the room frantically. She grew panicked then started having a meltdown. Tears were streaming down her face as she threw things.

"Zuri, slow down!" Sutton yelled grabbing her by the arms and sitting her down in one of Adams chairs. Zuri put her head in her hands and began to sob. We all sat in silence waiting for a better explanation.

"He wrote down everything in that journal. His crushes, his biggest fears, and most importantly, what he was going to say as his best man speech at my wedding when I'm going to get married." Zuri explained, "I have to find out what he was going to say."

"Zuri.." Ariel began to say, "Adam told me something before the accident."

"What did he say?" She wondered

"Well He was a bit drunk but a drunk mouth always tells the truth. Anyways, what he said was that he's..."