In Real Life (Nemi)

Firestarter

A fire had definitely started in my loins when Nick put his arm around me in his bed. I sighed. "Nick, this feels wrong." I said.

"Why? It's no different than when I hug you." Nick smiled, keeping his eyes shut. "And I think it feels kind of right." He chuckled. "Hugging you has always felt right, Dems."

"We have Olivia & Wilmer."

"They aren't here." He laughed. "We aren't doing anything wrong. It's not like we're naked or thinking about sex right now. We're friends." He wasn't opening his eyes & it was kind of bumming me out. I wanted to look into his eyes right now as he held me in his arms. "I can't hold my best friend after she has a traumatic experience, making sure she doesn't fall off the bed, without it being wrong?"

"What about while you're sleeping.... you could mistake me for Olivia."

Nick laughed a little louder now. "I doubt that. You don't feel anything like Olivia."

"Gee thanks." I wanted to cry now.

Nick opened his eyes. "I didn't mean that in a bad way. She just feels different. You feel different, but not in a bad way."

"Yea, she's a bag of bones & I am a fat ass."

Nick clicked his tongue. "Stop. She's all limbs & you have curves. It's definitely not a bad thing. Curves make lying with you more comfortable. It's like having a curvy body pillow." He smiled at me & I couldn't help but to smile back at him. I was glad it was a little dark in the room, so Nick couldn't see that I was blushing.

I sighed again. "I have to admit something."

"What's that?" Nick asked, looking into my eyes & making my heart skip a beat.

"I feel really safe in your arms."

Nick smiled. "You should always feel safe when I'm around, Demi." His eyes closed, slowly. "Good night, Dems. Sweet dreams."

"Good night, Nick."

"Love you." Nick mumbled, sending a warm sensation throughout my body.

"Love you, too." My voice cracked, feeling a lump in my throat. I wanted to burst into tears now. I couldn't deny how I was feeling now. I felt it all over my body right now. I had visions of the things I wanted to do to Nick in this moment. I had this fire inside me for him & it burned hotter & hotter the more time I spent with him. Now, feeling him this close, it felt like my insides were an inferno. I was warm, but I didn't care. I could feel the sweat coming from my skin, but I could feel Nick sweating, too. We're creating body heat & thankfully, it got chilly in here from the tiny AC that was running. Yea, I wasn't going to be able to sleep. Or was I?

I must have felt so safe & comfortable in Nick's arms, because I did fall asleep. When I woke up, I was on my side, facing Nick, our arms around each other's waists. My face was, literally, two inches from his. I could feel him breathing through his nose. Being this close to him & staring at him for this long, I was able to examine him, closely. I smiled as I counted his freckles, admiring the ones that created a constellation on his cheek. His lashes were long, but not too long. They were the perfect length, especially when his eyes were open & they accented his gorgeous brown eyes. I felt my mouth water when I inspected his lips. They were perfect, almost taunting me, now, as they formed a pucker in his relaxed state. I resisted the urge to kiss him. God, it was hard to resist, they looked so delicious. But I didn't want to chance waking him or having my first kiss with him to be that, while he was unconscious. Instead, I leaned into him a little, snuggling up against him. He stirred a little, his grip on me, tightening, making my smile even bigger. My forehead was close to his mouth now, since he tilted his head back a tiny bit when he stirred a moment ago. I prayed that one day, he'd hold me like this & wake up to kiss my forehead, telling me he loved me. And not the kind of love you feel for a friend. The deep, passionate kind of love. Why couldn't he love me the same way I loved him? Why would God make it so we weren't attracted to each other in the same way? He wasn't that cruel, was He?