SECRET. (On going )

Can't go back, I want to go back.

I've been driving for hours. So I  finally pulled over at a 7-11 to feed to babies. I turn on m phone to call Sammy.

When I turn on my phone I see ten missed calls from Jon and maybe 50 text. 

"Hey A. What's wrong?"

I sigh. "I just had the biggest fight with Jon. And it got physical, I mean really physical."

Then she looses her cool. "Oh my god! I'm calling Shay. We're coming to get you."

I make her stop ranting. "I left already. I gave him the ring back too. It's my fault."

As any good friend would say Sammy says "It's not your fault A."

But this time it is my fault. MY lies and trust all fell apart. Into pieces like a glass shattering on impact. "Don't start...It's time I just come back to the me I knew." I tell Sammy the whole story of what happen.  "Promise you won't tell Shay?"

Samantha swears up and that she won't. I tell her Thanks and we hang up. I bring the kids into 7-11 and change them.

"My precious babies." I smile. "This won't take long."

When I'm done I come out the bathroom. I pay for gas and grab a coffee then head back to the car. As I pump the gas I can't help but relive what happened.

I love Jon, I swear I do. I just don't know how to get over this pain. Literally, my face hurts so bad. I get done pumping the gas and get in the car. I look in the mirror and see the bruise on my face. Its not big but, it's there.  I make sure the twins are sleep, then pull out. I take the side road to the highway that Jon showed me.

I couldn't take the silent car so I turn on the radio. 'Unconditionally'  by Katy Perry comes on and makes me think of Jon. The beginning and until now. I start to cry.

"God, Jon I'm so sorry."

Before I know it I'm swerving in the road. I try to take controlled of the car again, but I can't. Last thing I hear is the sound of the car crushing. Then I blackout.

* * * *

When I wake up I hear sirens and the horn constantly blowing. I hear chatter. " Ma'am can you hear me? Don't move." his voice is fading in and out.

At thus point I'm in so much shock, I can't feel the pain.

I hear the man shout ."Get the jaws of life over ber over here!" I feel dizzy, but

I manage to say" Please save them."

I black out again.

***

I fade in and out at the hospital. Either it's all real or a dream, but I hear Jon's voice. He's scared. He worried about me. The nurses get him to calm down and sit down.

***

I don't know what happens next because I'm still blacked out. The doctor says Jon can come in. Jon made sure the babies were okay. And by the grace of God they had nothing wrong.

"Mr.Good, she's going to be okay. Only thing is she's got a minor concussion. We don't know what that will have an effect on, if any."

Jon sighs and says" Okay."  Then the doctor walks out. "Amber, I'm sorry baby. None of this should have ever took place." He grabs my hand and starts to cry.

I know now what the mean by "eternal love" in a wedding ring means. Jon slips my ring back on and sits there holding my hand again. I never want him to let go again.