SECRET. (On going )

Getting my baby back.

I sat at the top of the bed with my knees to my face, Jon sat by the end of the bed. "Why? Why? Why didn't you say something?"

I sat silently and said nothing. I couldn't go back down this path. I might have to.

"Answer me." He turns to me. "I need you to Answer me."

Then I snap. "And say what Jonathan? That my ex boyfriend was a douche who never said a kind thing to me? Or the fact that he was the one who raped me? God.... You're so freaking pushy sometimes." I feel his warm hands hold me close. "Don't say anything Jon.I know you will, just please don't.Promise?"

He sighs. "I promise. But... do you really have another kid?"

"Yes."

Jon sighs. "Jon babe I know I've kept a lot from you, but I couldn't bring back these memories. That's why he lives with Shakotah and Sammy. He would be 5 this year baby, imagine not seeing your kid growing up. I'm just glad he didn't stay with his dad." I get up and go to the closet. I pull out a photo book.

"This is Christian. They tell me he's super sweet and smart. He misses me Jon. "

"Get him back. Bring him here with us. I can raise him right."

I sit up. "You mean like a psycho?" Jonn kisses me and pulls me down on the bed.

"I love you Amber. You're beautiful and mine. Amber Good."

"I love you too. I'm gonna go talk to Sammy." I get and walk into the twins room.

"Hey,  how'd it go?"

"I'm gonna say good, but I don't know for sure. He wants Christian to come live with us. I just don't know if I'm ready." I say sitting on the floor. "I've been gone for a year and a half, what if he doesn't want to see me?"

"Amber that's crazy. One he's five, and two he misses you all he talks about is you and when does he get to see you again."

"Give me your phone."

She hands me it.

"Hello?"

"Hi baby it's mommy. " I put the phone on speaker.

"Hi mommy!"

"Listen do you want to come stay with Mommy?" after a long pause He answers" Yes, can I come tomorrow?"

I smile "Yes baby you can and you can come meet your baby brother and sister. Okay? I love you so much."

"I love you too mommy."

* * * *

I got up and put on a pair of sweat pants and a tank to get Christian. "Want me to drive?"

"Please baby?" We walk downstairs with the twins and go out to the truck.

On the way there I couldn't help but smile to see my baby again. I didn't want to leave him, but the fact that he's Colbys child made me mad at him and everybody.

When we got there Sammy helped us find the gate where he was. I was looking for him when I heard a happy scream. "Mommy!" I grab him and hold him tight. I fell so happy I start to cry. "Mommy don't cry, I'm here."