No Reflection|Kellic

Chapter 10

KELLIN'S POV

Light was seeping through a small gap in the ceiling.
I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

I slept for the rest of the day yesterday.
The worst thing is falling for someone you know you could never have.

Even if you could leave, he wouldn't love you anyway.

I squeezed my eyes shut and hugged my knees.
Sometimes it helped.
I didn't want to think right now.

I chuckled dryly at myself.
First world problems right?

I wonder what I looked like.
Probably worse than ever.

Messy hair, bags under eyes.
I shrugged,
Wouldn't surprise me.

Even though I wouldn't like my reflection, I still wanted to see.

I was curious.

I walked over to the mirror in the toilet.
Nothing, no reflection.

I sighed in frustration.

Mirrors used to be my worst enemy, now I would do anything to see what i look like.

I sighed again and walked out the room.

Vic was standing there, watching me.
'What's wrong?'
I shook my head, 'Nothing.'

'Kellin.' He frowned.
'Yeah?'
'There's something wrong.'

I shook my head and walked past him.
'Hey.' He said, grabbing my arm.
He wiped a tear that I didn't know was falling, and smiled softly at me.

Some days I regret everything,
Some days I don't regret it at all.

Today I regretted it more than anything.

I just wish I was free again.
Nothing's changed.
I still have feelings, I still feel that emptiness in my chest most days.
But I'm locked away.
I'm not free.
So if anything, it's worse.
The only upside is that I wouldn't have became friends with Vic or Jesse.

I miss my family, I miss Gabe, I even miss that crappy little village I lived in.

I rolled my eyes and forced a small laugh.

'It's nothing I swear.' I whispered.

Liar.

I gritted my teeth.

'Kellin' He said.
'I said it's nothing!'

'Please, just.. just tell me. I don't like seeing you like this.' He begged.

'Like what?'
He shrugged, 'Moping around.'

I laughed slightly.
'Seriously, it's nothing. Just one of those days.' I shrugged it off.

But I'm not sure if it was.

It had been a while since I felt like this.
I thought it was all behind me..
But a few days ago it's caught up with me.

I swallowed the lump in my throat.
'I'm gunna get a coffee.' I said.

He nodded, watching me as I walked off.

I slammed the door shut, locking it.
I let the tears run down my face, a sob escaping my lips.