Neko Detectives

Act 9: Misinterpretations

Aki's POV

My boyfriend, who is a cat, is still only my boyfriend. I want to change that. I feel like I'm ready to begin the next chapter in my life, to fully dedicate my life to a significant other. I think Kyo feels the same way. I want to marry him, right here in the office. Sure, family isn't allowed in here, but then again, my family hates me because I'm a homosexual. So I'll marry him here, with Mei and Itonokogiri. Haha, a funny thought, Detective Itonokogiri doing something serious. That would be like Officer Chie Satonaka not wanting to come to work.

I begin to get handed report after report when I slip out the window. I have 10,000 yen, ready to buy a nice ring. I see the perfect one for Kyo. I buy it, and ask how I can be dramatic with it. I want to do it like the movies, and they give me a shell of a buildup speech. I think you're gonna like it.

"Kyo, come here!" I yell. He follows me onto the stage, and I tell everyone to gather 'round. "Hoshitani Kyoji, I have loved you for a very, very long time, and I think you feel the same. We've had our ups and downs, but I would like to end all of that. Using the power of eternal bond, that is," I say dramatically. I see Kyo nearly bouncing with excitement. His eyes sparkle, as he realizes what's happening. I kneel. Seeing Kando out of the corner of my eye, I raise the intensity. "Hoshitani Kyoji, will you make me the happiest man alive, and marry me?" I produce the ring box from my trench coat. I flip it open, and Kyo is speechless. "A-Aki, I love you, but... Yes! I will! I will marry you!" He accepts the ring as I slide it onto his finger. Everyone cheers, and even Kando is emotional.

He walks back to his desk, and I go to mine. Not to work, but to dream. Dream of my Kyo, who will soon be all mine. I fantasize about having a family, of those nights in bed. Bed, where we can hug each other all night. Wake up in the morning, and the first thing I see is my Kyo. We kiss, and then get up. We shower together, and then brush our teeth. I help him tie his tie, and he helps me put my gun and handcuffs onto my belt. I help him with all those weird spikes he likes to have in his hair, and I cook breakfast. As Kyo eats, I nibble on his ears. All warm and fuzzy, Kyo laughs, and I smile. We drive to work, as we talk about random stuff.

For now though, I tie my tie wayyyy to tight, and Kyo doesn't have his spikes. He haven't slept, nor have we showered. I heard something about trying to bust open a water pipe and use it as a shower, but to my knowledge, it hasn't happened. Someone comes through the window bringing food, and we chow down. We sometimes go days without food, since no one will go get some.as I open the takeout container, hoping it's something nice, I notice a note on my chopsticks. I leave the food, which smells like pork fried rice, and read the note. 'See The Act Govenor Enkoji for the wedding setting. Dig in the rice for more details.' I eat the rice, not in any hurry since, A: I'm hungry and want to savor the delicious food, and B: what the note meant was our wedding was to take place on the stage. I get to the bottom of the rice, and in a small bag is a note, giving descriptions of the theme, and what songs to pick out. Also, the date. I eat the last bits of rice, and then, full, I begin to work.

As I complete the last few pages of my report, I go online, something that didn't happen often in Heisei 9. I looked at what real couples do, and apparently, they're not as sexually active in bed as I thought. Also, they're not as romantically active in general as I thought. But, I'll still give Kyo my undivided attention. I look at my report. It looks good. Report summary, huh? Basically, we take all that was described in the report, and drastically simplify it. Then, we slim it down using any means possible. We cut everything that's not very important, and then finally we don't use proper sentences. That way, I can take my 300 page report and make it one page for the lawyers. There are no lawyers yet, but when there are, we'll give them these,

It began to rain. Hard. So hard, the power was knocked out. I saved my report just in time, but the thing is, we could no longer escape the office. The ID door was down, and it was raining so hard no one was going outside. Either we kick the door down, or stay trapped in here. I went over to Kyo, and asked him to tell me a funny story. 

"So, there was this one time, when we still lived with a roommate. He used to tell us some random things he would think of throughout the day that seemed funny."

FLASHBACK to 1994 (In the other one I meant to say 1985)

"Hey, guys! Got a real good one now! Time for Random Hilarious Thoughts, with your host, Yosuke!"

Yosuke is now a TV news comedian.

"Everyone in my class is in a big circle. It's about fifty students. Suddenly, everyone drops down on the ground and starts flopping, like a fish, and Saki grabs onto Tomu-kun, and they blast off into space with rocket boots.

Flashback End

"Now that I think about it, Yosuke would always think of weird stuff like that and make us laugh whenever we were down. He has ADHD. I still talk to him sometimes, when I'm bored and need some Yosuke-style dry humor."

I want to talk to him now. I wonder how he's doing?