Neko Detectives

Act Sixteen: Inquisitions

Kyo's POV

As Kando walked over to me, I felt an immense need to hide. But I couldn't. So I just ran away to the coffee machine. My body still ached from the Bosley RE Operation. I shouldn't pull a stunt like that ever again. 

Speaking of Bosley, they finally put the fire out. It wasn't easy since new parts of the building kept exploding, but they contained the fire. That's a relief. Bosley should be getting some new systems up soon. Until that happens, though, we have to physically transport information. What a pain. As I sip my coffee, my spirits lift and my concern about work melts away. This coffee is truly magical.

I'm about to get another cup when Aki walks into the room. "Wow, Kyo! Two cups?" he says. "Have you been watching me? Creep..." I say. Only a joke, of course. "Well, how else am I going to see your adorable face in its pure, innocent state?" he tells me. "Oh, fuck you," and at that he comes over and starts nibbling on my ear. My fuzzy, cat ear. I give him a cup of coffee, and he drinks it. Then he continues to taste my ear.

"You thinking of swallowing my ear?" I asked, irritated, when he starts sucking on it. "Why are you even here?" 

"What, I came come and see my husband? Well actually, Kando came by and started talking about how we have to go to an inquiry meeting," he tells me. "Sounds more like an inquisition to me," I say.

"I can guarantee you the only reason we gotta do this shit is because Kando doesn't like gay people," he mumbles. "Oh, fuck! Kyo, grab another cup 'o joe, cause it's inquisition time." I grab another coffee, and head off to Meeting Room 6.

As we sat down, it was clear what this was about.

"So, Hoshitani and Kanitago. Nice to meet you. I'm Takahiro, and his is my associate, Kadokura. Now, it has come to our attention that you two are homosexual. Are these valid claims?" he rambles. "Why, sir, they are!" I say emthusiastically. "Thank you for your honesty. Quite frankly, that's what concerns us. The amount of work that you two put in is about zero, according to Daisuke Kando. It seems you two spend more time having sex than doing work. To be expected from gays, of course."

"What?" 

"Daisuke is a trustworthy man. If he says you two have sex every day, then we can believe it. And just the cherry on top of the cake, you two are gay, and gays feel the need to have sex every day. That's why we need to fire you. It would look bad if our top detectives came onto a crime scene in tutu's toting pink guns. Also, what do you think of a detective that examines a crime scene for two seconds, then goes off to rape some little boy? That would be disgraceful! So, unfortunately-"

"Fuck you, fuck this! We're out! You're fired," says Aki, and he drags me out the room. "Seeya in hell, bitches! Satan's got a parking space reserved just for you!" I say, holding up a bird.

As we walked out, fuming, Kando was waiting there for us, smiling sweetly. "How'd the inquiry meeting go? Got any questions or comments for me?" he said, like he'd just bought us ice cream. "Oh, you mean the inquisition? It went awesome. We feel great. Also, we do have a comment. Fuck you, Satan's keeping Hell warm for you." I said. He looked dumbfounded. With that, we parted ways, with Kando stammering, "B-but... but..."