Unsteady L.S

21.

Heartbreak.

Something that leaves a hole inside your heart and makes it feel like you can't keep going on. Something that makes you want to turn back time and start it all over.

That was exactly what Harry was feeling right now.

He had woken up in an empty bed and a quiet house. He had sat up and been confused where Louis was. He couldn't have just left him right?

Harry had stood up and walked out of his bedroom, finding Louis sitting on his couch. He was relieved to see him there, but the feeling was long gone when he looked up. Louis' eyes were sad and looking hurt. Harry immediately wanted to go over him and give him a hug. So he did just that. He walked over to the older boy and got on his knees on the floor.

"Is everything okay?" He had asked, looking up at Louis with worrying eyes. Louis didn't respond at first, he just looked down to his hands. Harry followed his line of sight, his eyes widening as he saw his meds. "Where did you get them?" He had asked quietly.

That's when Louis had spoken. "Why didn't you tell me?" He had asked, looking ready to cry. "Are you afraid that I'd leave you if I found out? Or that I wouldn't support you?"

"It's nothing like that-"

"Then what? Tell me, Harry, because to me it seems like you didn't want me to know about this."

Harry had bit his lip and looked down for a moment. He didn't want to lose Louis- no, he couldn't. Louis made him feel and so, so happy. That wasn't something that came free to Harry.

"I didn't want to worry you," Harry had answered eventually. "I-I know that you wouldn't leave me for it but I didn't want to worry you. I was okay- I am okay. Those just made me feel better when you weren't here-"

"So you had to get them because of me?" And at that moment, Harry had been sure that Louis was going to cry. And it broke his heart.

Harry had quickly shaken his head. "No, Gemma asked her friend to write me the description for them- it was before you."

"But did I make it worse, be honest with me please," Louis had asked- no, more like pleaded.

"Yes," Harry had whispered, his eyes watering up badly. "But you make it better now, you do! Please don't leave me, I need you," he had begged.

Louis had stayed quiet for a moment until speaking up. "I need some time," he had said his voice wavering. "I'm not leaving you, but I need time. I've never meant to hurt you and I did. I'm so sorry Haz, I am."

"No, no no," Harry had said quickly, panic taking over his body. "Don't leave me- I need you."

"I'm not leaving, love. We both need some space I think," Louis had said with a sad smile as he moved to trace Harry's cheeks. "I love you Harry Edward Styles. I couldn't stay away for long."

After that, all that Harry remembers is crying. He remembers how he had started sobbing and how Louis had kissed him goodbye before leaving. Louis didn't seem mad so Harry didn't know if it was final or not. Surely Louis had said that he'd come back, but isn't that what they all say?

When Louis was gone, Harry dragged himself onto the loveseat. He would've gone to his bed but his sheets still smelled like Louis and he wasn't sure if he'd be able to take it.

Harry doesn't know how long it has been since Louis walked away but he snaps back into reality when his stomach grumbles. He wipes his eyes and sits up on the loveseat. His head was aching from the crying and his nose was stuffed. He gets up and walks to his bathroom where he blows his nose.