Just Another Love Story

Chappie 20

Chapter 20: The Confessions Of a Sick Sick Girl

**Belle**

I take one deep breath before looking into the eyes of the man who killed Kocoum.
Oops, wrong story.
I look at Justin, those large hazel eyes swallowing me whole. I know I can trust him because he wants to know. He's concerned and that makes me feel good, it makes me feel safe, like I am wanted, I'm loved.
"Okay, for one thing, I have had two dads in my life. The one that left, and the one that died." I stop, he nods for me to keep going.
"My first dad went to some war in some country when I was 8. It wasn't until I was 13 when we, my mom and I, got the news that he was killed in combat." I pause again feeling tears welling up in my eyes.
"My mom was in serious denial for a long time. She didn't want to believe that her husband, my father was dead and that there was nothing she could do about it. Two years later I, made her go out and meet new people. She ended up meeting a guy. He was nice, but me ? No, I wasn't nice, not at all." I clenched my fists and Justin took them in his. He kept his gaze on me and nodded for me to continue.
"I don't know what was wrong with me but I was not accepting that she met another man. They started seeing each other more often. Literally on Tuesday nights, it was "bowling night". I would then ask "what about dinner?" And she would leave me money to buy a pizza. Oh! And when he started living with us, that is when I lost it." I put my head in his lap and squeezed my eyes shut so no tears would come out.
"I-I said such horrible things." I whimpered. Justin pulled me into his lap.
"Keep going." He said softly, stroking my hair.
"I would tell him I hated him, and I would make sure he never step foot in my room. I would sit in between them at dinner so he couldn't touch my mom. I even, I told him he was just a replacement for my dad. He was ! He would never be my real father, no matter how hard he tried. And how could my mom not see it, how I felt? I didn't want a new dad. But that was wrong. So wrong. I drove him away. I made him leave. I caused my mom's depression. I'm the reason for her death!" I pushed myself away from Justin, pushing him too. I yelled and I cried and I punched the roof of the barn.
"And the nightmare! My mom is happy and smiling with Nick, that was his name. And then a different me comes and starts saying terrible things to him. Then I start yelling at myself to stop, to stop saying those mean things. But she can't hear me. Nick gets up and leaves, and I start yelling for him not to leave because I know what is going to happen next. My mom falls off a cliff. She dies. And its my fault. And I have it every night!" I feel arms rap around me. I open my eyes and I see myself being pulled away from the edge of the roof.
Holy shit.
I turn to see Justin looking at me with wide eyes.
He takes my face in his hands, and pulls me to him.
My lips collide with his in a gentle kiss. His lips are soft and warm although the air is cold.
My eyes close and my heart flutters with life. I start to kiss back, throwing my hands around his neck, he pushes his face more into mine and pulls me close from the waist. Our lips are the perfect combination of melody and harmony. The love is real, there is nothing off about this moment.
I want this to go on forever. Oh the confessions of a sick, sick, girl.
Justin pulls away and leans his forehead against mine, the both of us panting, holding each other close.
"None of this, none of that, is your fault stupid. And from this moment forward, you are to stop thinking that way." He tells me.
I laugh, "okay."
"Do you feel better now that you told me?" He asks.
"Actually, yes. I feel like a huge, huge weight has been removed from my entire being." I tell him.
"Good. Now if there is anything else you want to talk about, please, I want to know."
"You will be the second person I tell, right after Tabby." We both laugh.
"I can live with that." He says.
He kisses my forehead and stands up. He helps me up and we descend from the roof to the floor of the barn.
On the way home he holds my hand and talks to me into the blackness of the night sky.
***
"YOU DID WHAT?" Tabby yells.
I laugh, "You heard me."
She hunches over, "no way. You freaking kissed Justin."
"I told him about my dad and my mom and my dad dad and there was a lot of crying-"
"And screaming." Tabby cuts me off. She knew damn well that there was screaming because when I told her all I did was scream.
"Definitely screaming." I laugh.
"He really cares about you Belle. That's so amazing. Do you realize that?" She can barley stay on her seat.
"I know and and I care about him, I should've asked him about his patents." I say.
"Hey, don't beat yourself up. You live with the guy remember. There will be other days." She smiles.
"You're right. I'll bring it up some time this week." I shrug and drink my juice.
Tabby wiggles her eyebrows, "mmmm he's looking at youuu." She sings.
I turn slightly to see Kyle talking to Justin but Justin looking at me.
I turn back around, my face now red like that ketchup bottle.
I groan and put my head down. Tabby laughs and strokes my head.
"There there Mrs Davis, everything will be alright." She taunts.

***