Accidentally Married

Chapter 19: Sex

"Baby, are you okay?"

Hindi niya magawang buksan ang mga mata at titigan ito nang diretso. She can't... she felt guilty.

She felt guilty because he still accepted her, even when she didn't just leave him, she also lost their child.

"Sabi ni Manang ayaw mo raw kumain?" Sinapo nito ang noo niya, "Hindi ka naman mainit, how are you feeling?"

"I'm okay, Wes..." She murmured, "Gusto ko lang matulog."

"But, Baby... You need to eat, first."

"I'm not hungry yet... Madami kaming kinain kanina nila Maribel at Elias," sambit niya rito, "I-I just want to rest, please..."

Hindi na ito tumango bagkus naramdaman niya lang ang kamay nitong marahang humahaplos sa likuran niya, "Okay, let me know kung anong kailangan mo, ha?"

Hinalikan siya nito sa noo pagkuwa'y naramdaman niyang gumalaw ang kama. She sneaked a peak and saw him walked towards the closet, "Sabi ni Manang umalis daw kayo? Saan pala kayo nagpunta nila Maribel?"

"Mall..." Tipid niyang sagot.

"You should have called me, Baby..." Hindi naman ito naninita, parang tunog nagtatampo lang. "Sana napuntahan ko kayo,"

"Busy ka, hindi ba?" Speaking of called, "and I did call you. Nagtext pa ako, Wes..." She honestly said that made him frown, he checked his phone pero walang call logs doon maging text message.

"I'm not lying," Umupo siya ng tuwid at kinuha ang cellphone. Pinakita niya rito ang sariling message at call log, "Maybe your woman deleted it ---"

"Pardon?" Inis siyang bumangon at kumuha ng unan, "Where are you going?" Hinawakan nito ang braso niya, tamang higpit lang para hindi siya masaktan.

"Gusto ko ng matulog."

"Ako rin naman," Sambit nito, "Halika na, tulog na tayo---"

"Gusto kong matulog magisa---"

"Why?" Putol nito sa kanya, "Camilla, what happened?" He pulled her close and cupped her face.

Iniwas niya ang pisngi pero hindi nito iyon pinakawalan, "Baby, please tell me..."

Traydor yata ang sariling mga luha at parang babagsak na kaunting pilit pa nito.

Ang hirap pigilan ng damdamin. Gusto niyang magalit pero pakiramdam niya kasalanan niya kaya nagka ganito.

Saan ba siya lulugar?

"Camilla..."

"Wes, alam ko malaki ang kasalanan ko sa'yo pero... tsaka mo na lang ako singilin kapag may laban na ako, kapag natatandaan ko na lahat, kapag kaya ko na magpaliwanag sa'yo, kapag kaya ko ng panindigan ang naging desisyon ko..." She couldn't help but to cry, ang bigat sa dibdib.

Nang makauwi sila ay nanatili pa si Maribel para sagutin ang mga katanungan niya. Ang hirap ng walang maalala.

Akala niya noong wala siyang matandaan sa nakaraan ay galit sa kanya ang Diyos. Ngunit ngayon, kaya siguro tinanggal ang alaala niya ay dahil sa sobrang sakit na maaring hindi niya makakayanan.

"Camilla, where is this coming from?" Masuyo nitong sambit sa kanya, "Wala kang kasalanan sa akin---"

"Bakit kasi hindi mo na lang sabihin na may iba ka na!" Hinampas niya ang dibdib nito, "Na nakahanap ka na ng bago dahil umalis ako! Mahirap ba iyon?"

"Camilla, wala akong iba..."

"Talaga? Sino iyong sumagot sa tawag ko sa'yo? Hindi si Julie iyon! Hindi iyon ang secretarya mo!" She snapped, "Binabaan niya ako ng tawag nang sabihin kong asawa mo ako!"

Pumikit si Wesley nang mariin at tuluyan na siyang nakawala rito. Napahilot ito sa noo at sa tulay ng ilong. Mukhang problemadong problemado.

"And it was your personal number, hindi ba?" Dugtong niya rito, "Ang sabi mo sa opisina, si Vince lang ang nakakaalam ng PN mo! Even Julie has to call you on your business number. So who has the audacity to hold your phone and answer the call for you kung wala kayong relasyon!"

"Camilla, it's not what you think. Hindi ko rin alam kung paano ---" She was about to walkout when Wesley caught her arm again, "Hindi pa ako tapos magpaliwanag."

"Kung sana pinirmahan mo na lang iyong annulment papers, sana hindi ka na nahihirapan ng ganito! Sana ----" Her words were cut short. Tinagilid ni Wesley ang ulo at sinalubong nito ang  kanyang mga labi.

His kisses were like fire that slowly melts her. Hindi iyon galit. For a moment, it made her mind go blank. Natuon ang atensyon niya sa mga halik nito.

He's dominating. Walang planong bigyan siya ng pagkakataon para gumanti o magsalita. Sa ganitong klase ng halik siya biglang nanghina.

She closed her eyes, slowly accepted that she couldn't fight it anymore. Only then a vivid memory flashes across her eyes.

Napaatras siya dito. Pareho silang hinihingal.

"I-I... I remember..." Sambit niya, "I-I remembered something, Wes..."

Naningkit ang mga mata ni Wesley sa kanya, "What do you mean?"

She remembered a lot. Compared to the vague images she could see before, ito ang pinakamalinaw.

"I-I remembered our wedding..." Sa saglit na sandali, halos nagbalik ang buong alaala niya hanggang sa kasal nila nito.

"Really?" His hands are on her hips, "Ano pa?"

Hanggang doon lang. Maraming beses naman na sila naghalikan ni Wesley pero... iba ngayon. Dahil ba sa galit, inis o selos?

What if they do more than a kiss? Would her body remember?

"Touch me," It wasn't a question. Nilunok na niya ang hiya baka biglang mawala ang momentum. After all, she's a married woman.

"What did you just say?"

"I remembered a lot when we kissed... Malinaw, Wes... At matagal..." She wet her lips and bit the lower, "I-I was thinking... what if I kissed you, again?"

Wesley stilled. It doesn't show any emotions rather just listening.

"Will my memory continue from where it stopped? Or should we do more than a kiss--"

"No" he cut her off without further ado, pinako siya nito sa dingding, "That's not a good idea--"

She stood and faced him, "But, we have done it before. We're married!"

"And you don't remember any of that, at all!" He seriously said, "I'm sorry, Camilla. I-I can't do what you want... "

"Sandali, Wes... I could already feel you. You want me, too..." Napailing ito at akmang lalabas ng silid ay napatigil sa sinabi niya.

"Wesley, it's just sex!"

He turned his head at her, huminga nang malalim bago salubungin ang mata niya, "It will never be just sex for me, Camilla." His voice broke, "What's the point of doing it when I can't feel your love?"

Cat got her tongue. She was speechless with Wesley's words.  It seemed that her heart stopped beating.

"You can remember, Camilla... That's good." He said, "but I would like you to remember not just the memories, but also our love."

Hindi niya alam kung saan pa siya huhugot ng hangin sa mga sinasabi ni Wesley, "and I will wait, no matter how long or hopeless, I can wait for you. After all, I cannot force you to remember love in that way... We would not use sex as a way for you to remember... Please, don't think that I don't want you, because God knows how much I longed for you, Camilla."

Now she was breathless. Her tears were at bay, ready fall.

"Once you remember our love. I would gladly make love to you for the rest of my life," he lovingly said.