Chapter 31
Drew's POV:
"I'll.. Go take a shower."
You stood up, still with the covers wrapped around you. This was supposed to be an unforgettable night. This was supposed to be amazing. Instead it turned into a fucking disaster. You cursed underneath your breath and walked into the bathroom. "Damn it!" you yelled and threw your fist at the wall. You weren't mad at Kylie, that's not the problem. The one you were mad at, was yourself.
You obviously did something wrong and now your baby girl is out there, and she's hurt. And the thing is, you can't even comfort her. You can't even pull her into your arms, kiss her and beg for forgiveness. No she's fucking terrified of you, and there's nothing you can do about it.
Once again you started spitting out curses as you hit the wall again. "Get yourself together damn it."
What relaxed you when you needed to be comforted? When you needed to get away? Taking a shower, that's it. That's what you were supposed to do, before you started throwing fists everywhere.
You dropped to cover and it fell to the floor. The condom was still on, so you took it off and threw it in the trash can. The lube made your hands all sticky and it disgusted you, so you had to wash your hands. As you were done with that, you stepped into the shower. With closed eyes, and your head leaning against the shower cabinet, you turned the water on.
As usual the water had a relaxing effect on you. It was soothing and comforting, and it made you feel like you never wanted to get out.
You didn't really take a shower. You just stood there with your eyes closed, and tried to calm down.
The sound of the water was like from those lullabies you play for babies. It made you sleepy. You snapped out of it and started to actually take a shower.
"I said it, and I still mean it. And I know that you don't believe it. When you've heard what I told ya. When you get worried, I'll be your soldier.." it sounded great when you sang in there. The acoustic effect it gave you, you just loved it. You started singing the melody, while you washed off your body. Since you didn't know more of the lyrics, you decided to sing another song.
You thought of lyrics in your head, and started to sing it out loud. Just improvising. "Open up to me, that's all you gotta do. Give me all your heart, swap mine out with you. Swap it out with you. Swap it out with you." you sang and then it just stopped. You couldn't make up anymore lyrics. And besides you were done with your shower, so you forced yourself out.
You found a towel neatly folded on the sink. It probably looked like that in every suite. You took it and wrapped it around your hips. "I wonder what Kylie's doing.." you mumbled. The mirror was all fogged and you couldn't see yourself. You took your hand and swept it over the glass. Now could see yourself and you hated what you saw.
No. Don't do this to yourself. Stop beating yourself up over it.
You shook your head, the voices aren't going to take over. Not today.
Before you unlocked the door, you took a few deep breaths. "You can do this." And with that said you stepped out. Kylie sat on the bed looking down at her legs, her hand in her hair, and confusion written all over her face. "Hey baby."
She looked up and flashed you a faint smile. "Hi Drew."
It was so awkward and you could feel the tension like a cloud, or smoke in the air. "I'll get dressed and then I'll give you a ride home okay?"
She looked away and started playing with her fingers. "Can I take a shower first?"
You nodded your head and smiled. "Of course you can. It's all yours."
She got up, with some clothes in her arms, and walked towards the bathroom. When she got in, you decided to get changed. You put on some Calvin Kleins and a pair of jeans. That's the only pants you'd brought with you. You put your shirt on and then popped down on the bed. You pulled out your phone an decided to call someone. Jason, was the first one who popped into your mind. He wouldn't judge you.
You dialed his number and after a few beeps his familiar voice answered. "Hey brother, how's it going?" he asked. "Is this the call when you tell me you've lost your virginity?" You rolled your eyes and sighed. "Well hi to you too Jason." you mumbled. "Well it did happen, but that's not why I'm calling you."
"What? That's not it? Then why are you calling?"
You told him what happened and after a few moments of silence he finally spoke. "Dude.. That's bad."
A sigh left your lips. "Don't you think I know that?" you spat.
"Okay, no need to take your anger out on me. Now why don't you come out with me tonight, how about that?"
Going out with Jason? And doing what? As if he read your mind, he answered your question. "Well I'm not taking you out to drink, if that's what you had in mind. I have a deal I have to do, and I might need some company."
Honestly you weren't very fond of what your brother was doing. You hated what the drugs did to him. How he acted when he was high, the things he did. But after all he is your brother and you can't be mad at him forever. And you didn't really want to get involved in this shit either.
But anything would be better than sitting home, alone, setting yourself on fire because of what was going on in your head.
"So are you in or not?" Jason asked. "Yeah I'll go with you."
"Okay, I'll wait at home for you."
"Okay bye."
And then you pressed the end call button. You lied back on the bed and closed your eyes. "Please don't look at me." Kylie's voice echoed in your head. "No stop!" Her cries filled your eardrums and the sound was heartbreaking.
You just lied there for what felt like forever. Your arm covered your eyes, and you were breathing heavy. Even though you were half asleep, you could still hear the click sound, when the bathroom door unlocked. Kylie walked out and she probably thought you were asleep, because you could hear the sound of the zipper as she got dressed.
A few minutes later she caressed your cheek, and you removed your arm from your eyes.
"Hi.. Should we go?"
You nodded your head and got up.
"Yeah let's go."
