the deal ~ h.s. (au)

20. Rules - Made to be Broken

"I can't believe we're fucking walking," Harry complains for a hundredth time in a few seconds, making me smile victoriously. I'm glad he run after me and that we are now walking together in this beautiful forest, "Who the fuck takes walks anymore?" he asks as he kicks a rock with his boot.

"I do," I answer simply and hear him snort next to me, "Don't judge me. Just look around you," I say as I turn, walking backwards and looking at him, causing him to roll his eyes, "It's amazing. Nature is amazing. Look at all these colours, how different they are from each other yet, they are so perfectly blended together and create this perfection that just takes your breath away," I comment as I look around myself, taking in the beauty that is surrounding me.

Harry stays quiet and I smile at myself. It is quite hard getting him to close his dirty mouth. I can't help but feel nice, walking like this next to him, fastening my pace to keep up with him. This is by far the most normal thing we've ever done together and it feels very pleasing. I'm not saying that everything other that we've done wasn't pleasing, because it truly was in every way possible. I can't explain the satisfaction I felt, seeing Harry so helpless and in his weakest state right in front of me, under me and because of me. It brought unbelievable pleasure to me seeing him so vulnerable that it concerns me.

I can feel his eyes on me and to confirm my suspicion, I glance at him, my eyes immediately locking with his, once again getting lost in the world inside of them. His pace slows down and mine does too in the same second. My heart starts racing again, sending threats of jumping out of my chest and my breathing quickens. Maybe he felt that because he looks away, focusing his gaze on the tree in the distance. I clear my throat and fasten up my pace and soon I'm walking in front of him.

Honestly, it's starting to piss me off. This helpless feeling I get when I'm near him. When his green eyes trap me inside of them. I hate it because my mind stops functioning and my body just lets go and falls into his arms. Not literally. Yet, at least.

"Why painting?" I ask, out of the blue and turn around, facing him. He's obviously confused and caught out of guard because he stops walking and just stares at me. I can't tell if he's confused or angry, honestly.

"What?" he asks dumbly and I roll my eyes at his weak response.

"How come you've become an artist? A painter to be exact," I ask and he chuckles, looking around him. When his laughter disappears with the small wind, he looks at me and smirks. I don't know if I want to rip that smirk off of his face and burn it or just kiss it a thousand times.

"Well, fuck, you've done some research," he says and starts walking again, "Impressive, White," he mutters as he passes right next to me. I roll my eyes and start walking after him, following him from behind.

"I needed to know who I'm dealing with," I state and he chuckles, the sound of his laughter making my heart melt and long to hear more and more of it.

"I thought one of your rules," he says when he turns around, now walking backwards, making quotation marks with his fingers in the air when he says the word rules and my heart races again, "was to not get to know each other."

I smile and look around myself before I quicken my pace and reach him, my body reacting before my mind could process what I'm doing or saying. When I'm close to him I feel so free, shameless. Probably because he's ruined every ounce of confidence I've ever had. But, it's very hard to explain. I can't control myself, my body just naturally responds to whatever he's doing or saying. And it scares me because in some moments it feels like I'm completely used to it, and that's the problem. I don't want to and I shouldn't be used to it. This should all be a huge no, but my body just thinks of it as a yes. But, that's not the worst part. Now, I don't know if this is a good or a bad thing, but this free feeling his presence gives me, makes me get lost in a forest of this new things and feelings I'm experiencing when he's around and it all brings out this new me who I cannot control. That scares me.