the deal ~ h.s. (au)

32. Phone Call

enjoy in this chapter

love xx

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 I look at my phone, finding myself desperately waiting to find Harry's name on it, seeing an unread message or a missed call. As soon as I realise how pathetically hilarious this whole situation is, I shake my head and toss my phone roughly into my bag, regretting that when I hear it fall. I can see Jo's lips move as she speaks and while I nod my head, even though I'm a hundred miles away from this table. All I can think about is how much I despise myself for crushing on Harry so badly; at this point, I am fully aware of my lack of self whenever I'm with him. That's not my main thought because since yesterday all I manage to do is find myself waiting for his text or call while I constantly think about him. It's quite annoying when I only think about reasons to not like him, to hate him which proves out to be difficult since I can feel my body tremble at the single image of him. It's frustrating to know that as much as I try to convince myself how there's nothing positive about his personality or nothing trustworthy in him, while I've successfully developed this wicked adoration of that same horrible personality and seem to trust him enough to share my deepest secrets with him. And reveal my whole body to him.

I am very disappointed of myself for letting it all go so far and not trying hard enough to prevent this feelings I struggle with now on a daily basis. In the worst case scenario, these feelings could develop into something much more serious and something I don't believe I want to deal with. But, hopefully, whatever this is, will stop and I'll be back with feeling just physical attraction. I want to stay positive and have hope that my mind and my thoughts will sort out this nonsense I've let myself fall into.

"Are you even listening to me?" Jo asks me as she shakes my hand and I try to hide the fact that I've got no idea what she's said by chuckling, which proves to be working when she rolls her eyes and continues to talk, "Do you think I should go out with him?" he says before she takes a sip of her cappuccino.

I stare at her for a while, trying to connect the dots, which doesn't take long because the only person because of whom she'd ever act like this, is Liam, "Yes, I mean if you want to. He seems to really like you, considering how nervous he was when he asked me about you, and maybe you should give him a chance," I reply, convincing myself I'm not a bad friend for not listening to my friend's troubles. She sighs as she runs her hand through her long ginger hair.

For a week or so she was pretending to be completely over Liam, which she proved to the both of us by leaving the party with a boy who was too drunk to walk normally, but all she wanted was to be seen leaving the house with another man. The moment I told her that Liam asked about her and seemed a bit blue because of her leaving with that boy, all the masks dropped and now we are apparently discussing about the two of them going out.

Jo mumbles something to herself and grabs her phone before she starts typing something in like a maniac, making me chuckle. I take out my phone from the bag and almost choke on my water when I see Harry's name on the screen, above the notification that said Missed call. I glance at Jo, as my heart races for a thousand miles per hour and I hold the phone tightly in my now sweaty hand, afraid it somehow might run away.

"Excuse me for a while," I say as I try to sound as normal as possible before I stand up from my seat and walk out of the Cafe. I take a few deep breaths as I run through my contacts and tap on Harry's name. I clear my throat, hoping it would help me sound calm because the last thing I need is helping his ego grow bigger by making him think he makes me this nervous.

"That was fast, White," his deep voice speaks, sounding even deeper like this, "I didn't know you were so eager," he adds, making me scoff as I try to come up with a good response.