clace jealousy

47. I Can't Give You Children

"Thank you so much," Jace told Nasreen Chaudhry one last time before hanging up the phone.

Jace swiveled around in the office chair behind the desk to face the rest of the people in the Library.

"I love India," he said, a content smile on his face. "I love Indian people. More specifically, I love Nasreen Chaudhry."

"I take it she had good news?" Clary said.

"She did," Jace nodded. "She somehow got two hundred Shadowhunters willing to help us. Two hundred!"

"That's amazing!" Izzy leaped up from her seat with excitement. She could already see the life draining out of the eyes of each of the men who took part in killing her baby.

Izzy smiled. With two hundred people behind them, it wasn't just a thought anymore.

But then she frowned. "We still don't know where their hideout is. How are we supposed to attack when we don't know where they are?"

"I don't know," Jace admitted.

"They're holding a meeting at an abandoned warehouse tomorrow to "commune with Valentine,"" Magnus said, coming into the Library.

"And you know this, how?" Jace asked.

"I have my sources," Magnus said simply.

"Tomorrow,"Jace hummed. "That's not enough time. People aren't going to start arriving until tomorrow morning at the earliest."

"Well, then we just have to go with the people that show up early enough," Izzy said.

"We don't even know if there are going to be Shadowhunters arriving tomorrow morning," Jace said. "We could be all by ourselves."

"Then we'll go all by ourselves!" Izzy exclaimed.

"Izzy, we'll get slaughtered," Jace said.

"We'll have the element of surprise on our side," Izzy said.

"We'll be vastly outnumbered," Jace pointed out.

"When did you become such the pessimist?" Izzy asked, placing her hands on the desk and leaning forward so she was face to face with Jace. "What happened to the boy who jumped through a portal so he could fight at the Adamant Citadel? What happened to the boy who provoked an entire wolf pack at a bar? Was he not vastly outnumbered?"

Jace didn't respond to that so Izzy just continued.

"What happened to you? When did you become so scared? You've survived heavenly fire. You've survived being connected to a psychopath. You've even survived death! And you're afraid of a few men?

"I don't know what happened you. But I do know that the Jace Herondale I know wouldn't have become the greatest Shadowhunter of our age if he were afraid to do what he had to do. If he were afraid of death."

"I have kids, Izzy," Jace said quietly. "What happens when I don't have an Angel to save me from death and I leave my kids without a father?"

"I don't know, but if you want to stay here and protect your family, I can respect that," Izzy said, walking to the exit. "I'll just go by myself."

"Izzy, wait!" Jace called after her.

Izzy turned around slowly.

"You can't go," he told her.

"Yes, I can," Izzy said. "Watch me."

"Izzy, you'll die!" he said.

"Then I'll die," Izzy said. "I don't have any kids and I will never have kids so I don't have to worry about leaving anyone without a mother."

"Izzy, we can try again," Simon said. He knew she was devastated about losing the baby, but he didn't think she would go as far as to go on a suicidal mission.

"No, Simon," Izzy shook her head sadly. "We can't. I met with Catarina yesterday and she told me that it's very unlikely that I would be able to carry anymore children. I can't have kids, Simon."

"We could still try!" Simon said. "It's not impossible."

"Try so that we can just be disappointed every month? No, I can't put myself through that. I can't put you through that. I'm sorry, Simon."

"No, don't apologize!" Simon said. "You have nothing to apologize for."

"I can't give you children," Izzy sniffled. "That's something to apologize for."

"We can adopt!" Simon suggested.

"We can get a puppy!" Simon desperately tried to stop Izzy from going to the warehouse, but it was clear she had her mind made up.

"I'm sorry, Simon," Izzy said, walking back towards the door.

"You won't be alone," Jace told Izzy and she was about to step out the door.

"What?" Izzy turned around.

"You won't be alone," Jace repeated. "We'll- I'll go with you. I can't speak for anyone else."

"Of course, I'm going," everyone else immediately said.

"What about Stephen and Brianna?" Izzy asked Jace.

"You're right. I wouldn't have gotten to where I am now if I were afraid to do what I had to do," Jace said. "And who know, maybe Raziel will be at the abandoned warehouse just waiting for me to die."

Izzy cracked a smile. "Thank you."

"No problem," Jace said. "We got your back."

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