Moonstruck Lullaby

Clean

"He knocked down my perfect, precious walls, Then chaotically built them all up again..." -C.T

***

You know when's the right time to give up on something. One way or another, your mind and heart tell you when to stop trying if its getting you nowhere. It works that way, whether you want it or not. Either you keep hurting yourself more each day, or you confront whatever truth you couldn't before, hoping it doesn't kill you. 

Turns out, you don't die. Maybe you wish you did, but its not enough to actually kill you, which is what I don't understand. But I guess some things don't have explanation, right? Like feeling in the presence, the absence of someone.  

Pain can't last forever, I think there will come a point where you get tired of it and tell yourself no more. Eventually, it'll be gone, along with the past. 

***

I'm done.

I have the ending of my story already. I have every feeling of the world inside right now, that I don't even think Ill sleep. I just have to write it now. Sounds easy, huh...write a realistic ending to a realistic book. Greaaaaat...I have not published that story yet. Many reasons apply here. I want to finish it first, but since now I know the ending, it will only be a matter of time before I publish that one. I want to have it all ready, sometimes its better not to publish things until after time has passed. This is the only exception to my hate of  "time". Publishing things until days, weeks after you've written them helps you recognize changes, if any have occurred. If its about feelings for example, and you were feeling dull one night, then when someone reads it, if they do, they cant know for sure when you wrote it or why. They cant help you, but its okay...maybe they aren't  meant to.

***

Tired but can't sleep...maybe tonight's publishing time lol