Moonstruck Lullaby

Just Mildly

First of all, I'm not overthinking.
Just..mildly..pondering. Yes.

So...hey it's December 24...
I'm awake..just doing a family vid cuz well, I don't know how it turned into a yearly tradition...but looks like I'm bound to it.

I feel alone..kind of. I don't know why, though. It just feels like it. I've been thinking about university, on how January is coming real fast, and I'm scared as fuck. Because, it's a total different planet than school. Meeting new people is gonna be harder..much harder. I don't know if I'll be able to find true friends..because, even though I have my best friends who've become family...Idk, we're all gonna grow apart, more than we are now. I just, I'm scared that I won't meet the right people with whom to be with, in all aspects.
How will I know if someone's telling the truth? Lying? How will I know how they were? How they are? How will I get to know them?
How will they get to know me?...I know I'm a difficult girl..but..I decided on something. Maybe there's not much importance to it, but I'll keep my writing a secret. Well, not a secret, I just won't tell them "Hey, I write. Wanna read some?"...No, I'm done. My writings are different now, and most of it not even my closest friends know of. So, there's that. I'll keep my writing lowkey. I guess it means I'll keep these "mild ponderings" aside. And until when, Idk..Depends on many things...but I'm not sure if I'll leave it in the open anytime soon.
I want my writing to be mine. And if I share it..well, it must be to people that I heartily care about. Just like it has been lately.

I'm unsteady.