Everyday thoughts and random rambling...where my mind goes when it wanders. Sometimes though, I wish it didn't, because some places I'd rather not return to. Some thoughts I'd rather keep low, some memories in the past. But I've learned that you can...
I should be sleeping. I should not be writing at 2:53am. I should be sleeping, dreaming dumb dreams about whatever my mind wandered to throughout the day. I don't really know if it even wandered today. Or if it has, these days. It kinda sucks but at the same time, it doesn't. I've mostly been thinking about my book. I don't know if I've talked about t here, but I'm writing one. I don't know why. But I need to finish it before 12:00am on New Year's Eve. I won't touch that book again in 2018. I just need to. Kinda like "new year, new me." Or blah blah. Wiping the slate clean, I guess. At least an attempt on doing it. So yea, I need to close that book before midnight and if I don't finish it, it will stay without closure. So I NEED to put an end to it. It gives me something to think about other than people... Though sometimes it doesn't work.
I have these notebooks...two actually. One's only for my book. Everything about it, character descriptions, dates, settings, plot twists, ending... The other notebook is for myself, for whenever I don't write here. For those tiny little quotes I form in my mind during the day. I write them there. They follow a pattern though, a pattern I'm not so sure I like. The theme hasn't changed when it should. Maybe it's my genre..as it has been almost these entire year. I'm just hoping I can make it change next year. --------()----------()----------()----------
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I read this book today. Completely. From the start till the very last page. Till the last word. I don't write about book unless they make me feel something different, unreal. Magical, even. It already became my #1 along with the other book All The Bright Places. That beautiful it is. The girl has OCD. She's of the popular crowd. She is consumed by dark thoughts and worries she can't turn off. She second-guesses every move, thought, and word. She thinks she's crazy...and maybe she is. She then need this girl who introduces Sam (her name's Samantha) to Poet's Corner, a hidden room and a tight-knot group of misfits who have been ignored by the school at large. She starts feeling normal with them...until she finds a new reason to question her sanity. It gave me goosebumps all along...there came a point where I couldn't control my heartbeats...I love books like these. And only two have made me feel these way.... (You already read one of them...If I were to recommend you another one, it would totally be this one.) ------()------()------()------()------()------ I feel like I should write more...maybe about deep things from myself that I haven't thought about much but are still there...but it's 3:15 already...(woah that may be one of em) so I'll talk about those little things some other day. ------()------()------()------()-----()------
-Don't Ask- If you were to ask me how I felt for you...I'd tell you, alive. If you were to ask me what I felt for you, I'd go on and tell you I hate you in so many languages that you'd be curious. And if you were to ask why I hate you, I'd give you so many explanations, that you would fall in love with me again. I don't want that. So don't ask. You wouldn't like my answer. In fact, you'd despise it a little too much. So don't, don't ask.
...I don't know what to say about these mostly cuz I just wrote it I don't even know why or what it's about, so I'm just gonna go with "moment of inspiration". 3:30am...never had I written at this time... I'd say it's good but that would depend on what made me write this lil poem. I just write. And then, I keep writing.
